Mommy In Real Life

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2010-02-09T03:04:00.000-08:00

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Time to get out on my own

2010-01-25T15:57:00.000-08:00

It was time to get my own domain.
And so I did.
It's active and It's so NOW!

http://mommyinreallife.com

Come on over, the water's fine!

Parenting, brought to you by the letter "F"

2010-01-19T18:00:00.000-08:00

When a child fails, actively tries to fail, what does that tell a parent?

Have I done everything I can, as a parent, to help him succeed? Or have I, in some small way, wanted him to fail. Because if he fails, then he can't leave. And I'm so not ready for him to leave. I'm not done yet.

I had so many things I wanted to do, as a mother. So many things I wanted to teach him, and show him, and do with him. But even more, its about me and where I am, what I've done, what I need. I'm not ready to be the mother of adult children. I'm not ready to release them out into the world. I haven't finished. I certainly haven't done my job to the best of my ability.

I've fucked up SO many times and in SO many ways. I haven't had a chance to fix everything, to get it right. They haven't had the childhood I pictured for them when I was a kid. They've been short-changed in so many ways.

This is NOT a plea for pats on the back, chants of "you're a great mom", solicited strokes to my ego. This is me seriously panicking. I'm that mother you hear about in therapy. The fucked up mom who never got it together. Two failed marriages, five kids, moving every few years, changing careers, struggling to pay bills, even a few years on public assistance... I think Augusten Burroughs wrote a book or two about me. I'm a mess.

I always thought there was time. Time to pull it together, figure things out, become who I was going to grow up to be. And still, I feel like that scared teenager who's father died and then went off to college in another state, trying so hard to leave myself and my past behind and turn into someone else. Only, I never finished that. I'm still trying to become someone, anyone. And so, I've become no one.

I turn 40 in 3 months. I could be turning 16 for all the self-confidence I have.

I love my kids, there's no question there. But that's far from enough. Not even close. I'm so sorry kids. You got so screwed over in the parent department!!

Bed Hogs

2010-01-10T18:38:00.001-08:00

So Let's Just Get This Out In The Open

2010-01-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

Contrary to popular belief, rainbows and unicorns are not coming out of my ass 24/7.

I have been struggling off and on with depression in one form or another a few years now. 2006 is a black hole in my life. A year I am so glad to leave behind me, that I don't even like to think about it. The abyss. A nightmare. Hell.

I spent 2007 just trying to figure out if I wanted to stay alive, and how to best go about doing that. My focus was surviving each day while trying to pretend that everything was fine. While raising 5 children. Alone. Again. I got to travel to China with my mom for work. By the end of the year, I'd started to finally lose some weight (I'd ballooned up to 220 lbs.) I was hopeful that 2008 would be better.

January 2008 I was chosen to be a contestant in a local radio station weight loss contest. It meant being on the radio and being featured on their website. I got compliments. The morning DJ told me repeatedly how fun I was to interview. In 3 months I lost 28 lbs. I came in 2nd place, but felt like a winner. I started to think that maybe, just maybe I was going to survive this afterall. I felt a glimmer of hope.

I took on 2009 head-on. I was convinced it was going to be "my year" - my year to finally reclaim myself, lose the last of the weight, and start really living again. Instead, I struggled. I did things like skydiving, white water rafting, trips to Disneyland with the kids. But internally I wasn't were I thought I should be. I cried a lot. I ate emotionally. I felt stress that I didn't think I had. The depression that I was convinced was gone, was still there. It would abate for days, even weeks at a time. And then when I wasn't looking, smack me upside the head. Hard.

Last year wasn't what I expected. I feel like I accomplished nothing. I left 2009 10 lbs heavier than I started it. Which completely baffles me. I work out 5-7 days a week. I run 4 of those days. I eat mostly fruits, veggies and lean meats. I have recently discovered I'm allergic to gluten, my doctor confirmed this today. I have eliminated it completely from my diet almost two weeks ago. Nothing.

I'm now going through blood work and the steps to figure out what's going on. My life is in a good place. I should be happy. At peace. While life isn't perfect, it's definitely going in the right direction. I think I'm hopeful. I feel hopeful. And yet, my body feels heavy. Tired. Physically depressed. I don't know why. It could be as simple as my thyroid. My mom has hypothyroid, and I certainly have all the symptoms. My hormones could be way off. Some kind of chemical imbalance.

I just feel "off". Out of sorts. Not myself. Not "right".

This totally sucks.

Because We Care!

2010-01-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

Sean and Skye both received Citizenship Awards today at school. Last month's focus was "caring". Which is sort of awesome. I'm very proud! Each class chose one student who best exemplified this trait - and both of mine were chosen!

My kids totally care!

Homework and Crocheted Flowers

2010-01-05T19:57:00.000-08:00

Homework is a struggle for Sean. He refuses to do it if I am not home, sitting right there with him. He doesn't need my help, he just needs my encouragement and presence. So I make room for him at my sewing desk. I can blog or websurf or Facebook and he gets his homework done. It's never a battle, thank heavens. This is what works for us.

I've been crocheting since my grandmother taught me, when I was just 8 years old. I love it. It's not just relaxing, but it creates something too. Lately, I've been making little hats and headbands for Skye. I've created a really cute three-petal flower that I've turned into hair clips and attached to some inexpensive elastic hairbands I found at the dollar store! Skye LOVES them! She can't wait to wear them to school tomorrow!

It was a totally OFF day!

2010-01-05T17:46:00.000-08:00

I don't get a whole lotta "OFF" days of work. Part of it is working for a family business, my parents' to be specific. And part of it is having the luxury of a very flexible work schedule (thanks again, MOM!) which means that I can come in late, leave early and work oddball hours if necessary. So I end up working just about every day, at least in part, and then leaving when needed for teacher conferences, dentist appointments, field trips, quick runs to the mall and the occasional matinee (seriously, I love you, MOM!!)

Therefore, an actually day of no work whatsoever is usually only on holidays. Which are then filled to the brim with family get-togethers, activities, much driving and rarely a moment to actually relax. Or heaven forbid, get something done!

Well, today was my once in a blue moon.

I didn't step foot in work AND I didn't have a single family obligation! No presents, platters of food (beyond my own lunch!) or people!!!

Never have I looked forward to a day of laundry and bleach with the kind of anticipation like I did today! Woot Woot!!

The school age kids all went to school and Cali went off to meet a friend for... whatever. And, my friends, had the whole freakin' house TO MYSELF! I have bruises from the pinching. I couldn't believe it! I hardly knew what to do first: laundry, scrub the kitchen floor, maybe some sewing. I was overwhelmed with OPTIONS! A friend suggested nakkid dancing in the living room; but unharnessed swinging and flinging about was a recipe for disaster, self-inflicted injury and a trip to the ER for sure. Not the way I wanted to spend my first day of freedom!

I watched OPRAH! And Martha Stewart Living, though I'm not really sure why. Man, is she boring! Has Martha always been so gosh-darn boring??? I used to love her. In the 90's, I seriously aspired to be a sort of Martha wannabe... I was just lacking all the talent and style! What happened? All I aspired to do while watching her today was turn the channel!

There was laundry and a dental appointment (thankfully, not mine. So I got some reading in too!) Unfortunately, there was most of my wish list that didn't even get touched. Ah well, just have to try and squeeze that in some other time. In those odd hours between work and blogging, sleep and running.

What do you do on your day off?

2010 is off to a great start!

2010-01-03T18:10:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve and waiting for the ball to drop.
Cali is reading to Skye.
Sean is counting down the seconds on his new Lightning McQueen watch.

They actually all made it to midnite!
Except for Tad, of all people!! He went to bed around 10pm.
And then came wandering out at 12:05 totally upset that he missed it!

New Year's Morning, I totally made breakfast!! GFCF pancakes, scrambled eggs and ham steaks (cause we have a TON of ham leftover from Christmas!)

Ok, so we ate at like 1:30pm! Hey, Mom gets to sleep in on holidays! Especially since I did NOT get to Christmas morning.

Sean loves Skye SO much.

This is what I wake up to half the time!
He still sucks his thumb when he's asleep.
I can still see the baby in him here.

Getting ready to go back to school tomorrow.
All bathed and ready for story time.
Well, just as soon as she jammies up!

Sometimes it's just really really hard

2010-01-02T21:10:00.000-08:00

Last week I had the opportunity to take three of my children to a special Sneak Peek of the new Jackie Chan movie coming out this month The Spy Next Door. It was at a venue in San Francisco (The City, to us locals) which meant a drive across the Golden Gate Bridge. At rush hour. In the rain. It took us over 2 hours. We live 26 miles away. Fun times! Actually, the length was expected and we got to the showing 30 minutes early. Which was perfect timing! It helps being a native Bay Arean (that could totally be a word!)

At some point, while we were driving around The City looking for parking, Sean started asking about earthquakes. And freaking out just a smidge. He's not used to tall buildings and we were down on Market St. I re-assured him all was well, that these buildings were old and had withstood big earthquakes and lived on. Nothing was going to crumble down on us. We were safe.

And I thought that was that. He enjoyed the movie and slept on the way home.

And then when we got home and all went to bed, he completely freaked out. Bawling, shaking, near hysterical. He was terrified that an earthquake was going to happen and kill me. He was unconsolable and literally cried himself to sleep in my arms.

My poor poor little boy. He woke up fine in the morning, all forgotten. And he hasn't mentioned it since.

And I've thought of nothing but. I don't know how to properly comfort him when he gets like this. It's like his mind gets stuck and he can't hear me.

This has happened before. He gets an idea in his head and there's no budging him from it. Thank goodness this was just for a few hours one evening.

He's still determined to raise the Titanic!

2009 Year In Review

2010-01-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

Thanks to The Sunny Side of Life for this idea! A bunch of questions to answer every 12/31, that helps you put a retrospect together for the past year:

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’ve never done before?

Skydiving! There were probably other things too, but that's the first one that comes to mind.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't set specific Resolutions for 2009, instead I wrote my 101 Things to do in 1001 Days over there in the side bar and I'm slowly working my way through them. I did cross quite a few things off over the course of 2009. However, I also am about 10 lbs heavier than I was at the end of last year, so that's something I focusing more on this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My bff Elizabeth had her THIRD baby boy in September!!

A co-worker became a grandfather for the first time 11 days ago.

And one of my former stepdaughters (the younger one) gave birth to her first baby on Christmas day. Though she doesn't count as close anymore. But I numbered her as one of my children for over 6 years, so she still counts. She'll always count.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No; but people close to those close to me did. And it was hard enough watching them have to deal with the loss.

5. What countries did you visit?

Technically none. Though I did visit NYC in February and for a California girl, that place is totally like a foreign country! There was a trip to Vegas too, and that's a whole 'nother planet!

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Drive and commitment! Oh, and focus. I'm so easily distracted from my tasks and goals... Squirrel!!

7. What dates in 2009 will remain etched in your memory and why?

March 28th - skydiving. That was a big one, I'd been talking about doing it for decades! And I loved it even more than I thought I would, if that's possible.

May 13th - Skye's 5th birthday. Princess makeover at Disneyland, my mom and sister were there too. She's my last and turning 5 was a big milestone for both of us.

June 12th - Cali's High School Graduation. I'm the mother of a high school graduate and adult.

September 16th - I officially registered for the Paris Marathon. It's on April 11, 2010 - my 40th birthday. In Paris, France! That'll be another major life goal.

8. What was your biggest achievement this year?

I feel like I finally got myself back. And I'm living life again instead of just going through the motions, just surviving day to day. I made real life goals (and some silly ones) and I've got the makings of a life plan in the works.

9. What was your biggest failure?

The weight. Always the weight. After a year of hard work, I'm up 10 lbs from one year ago. Awesome.

10. Did you suffer an illness or injury?

Actually, quite the opposite! I found out that what I thought was torn cartilidge in my knees was actually the result of double-jointedness and loose tendons! I had to learn how to stand correctly and I have to pay more attention to how I run. But no surgery necessary!! And my doctor said running was GREAT exercise for strengthening the muscles I need to keep my knees in line.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My Saturn, complete with sun-roof and "secret" third door that the little kids just love!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Sunny, who I stole this from, has made some really inspirational progress this year.

Elizabeth, who handles motherhood, autism and all the other curveballs that life throws at her with equal parts faith, courage and grace.

NieNie, who I don't know personally but have been following for a while. Her ability to face each day with such hope and positivity is truly inspiring! I only wish I could remember to be half as grateful for each day of life that she is. When my obstacles seem overwhelming, it just takes one of her posts to remind me that my problems are small and insignificant compared to what she faces each and every day. And she does it with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. We could all learn so much from her!!

Those are just the first three that came immediately to mind. So slights intended to anyone!

13. Whose behavior made you apalled and depressed?

I could point the finger at so many others, but the truth is, it's myself that I'm most disappointed in. I wish I had done more. I wish that depression hadn't stole so much of my year. Unwarranted depression. But now I know what's causing it, and 2010 should be MUCH better!

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, food, the usual

15. What did you get really excited about?

Silly things. Trips to Disneyland and the Winchester Mystery House. White water rafting and Universal Studios. The newest installments of Harry Potter and Twilight.

And major life events. My oldest graduating. My youngest starting Kindergarten. Jason getting his learner's permit.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Bon Jovi dropped a whole CD this year! I've been listening to The Circle non-stop since November 10th.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you (a)happier or sadder (b) fatter or thinner (c) richer or poorer?

Happier, Fatter, break-even. I'm equally poor this year as last!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spend time with my kids. If I have ONE resolution this year, it's to spend more TIME with the kids.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Procrastinate. There are so many more things I could have accomplished last year if I wasn't such a horrible procrastinator... scratch that, I'm obviously a GREAT procrastinator!! One of the best! I will do my best to become a terrible procrastinor!

20. How did you spend Christmas 2009?

With the whole family. It was awesome!

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

I fell in love a little more deeply with Junior Mints when I discovered they were gluten-free!

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I used to be such a tv junkie, with a solid line up from 8-11 every night of the week. It was paralyzing, I couldn't do anything for fear of missing one of my shows. I just don't have that level of commitment in me anymore!! So I've limited it to Desperate Housewives & The Biggest Loser. If I can catch The Office, 30 Rock, Cougartown, The Middle, and a handful of others, great. If not, oh well.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hating someone really takes a lot of energy. I'm much too lazy!

24. What was the best book you read?

Wow. Uhm... I can't always remember when I read certain books. And I read a LOT. I just started Stephen King's Under The Dome. It's over a thousand pages and may take me most of 2010 to finish.

The last book I finished "Confessions of a Carb Queen" by Susan Blech was excellent!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I didn't branch out much musically.

26. What did you get and want?

I got love and respect from my kids, what more could I ask for.

27. What did you want and not get?

More time.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

That is a hard one for this movie buff!! Avatar was incredible, like nothing I've ever seen before. The Blind Side was so inspiring! The Hangover reached new heights of inappropriate hilarity. And I got to see my hunny in Inkheart AND for a few minutes in GI Joe!

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

I turned that non-existent/perpetual age of 39. I think I worked on my birthday. Nothing big. Oh, we all went out to Chevy's for a birthday dinner cause they give you a big sombrero and sing at you! So that was awesome!! The next day the older boys and I left for a week of camping, white water rafting and Universal Studios.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Hitting my goal weight. I just want that monkey off my back, once and for all!!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Comfort with a hint of mom-jeans!

32. What kept you sane?

I don't think anyone would define me as sane.

33. Which celebrity / public figure did you fancy most?

My heart will always belong to Brendan Fraser!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Prop 8. It's an embarrassment to California. And it has truly angered me. We need to end discrimination once and for all. NOW! Equal rights for all.

35. Who did you miss?

My BFF who moved even FURTHER AWAY! To Canada... ok, almost Canada!

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I've made some great new on-line friends that have taught me so much!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Don't wait til you're 80 and dying of cancer to tackle that bucket list! There's no time like the present! Don't put off til tomorrow what you can ROCK today!

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

In the immortal words of Jon Bon Jovi ("Everyday" Bounce CD)

I used to be the kind of guy
Who'd never let you look inside
I'd smile when I was crying
I had nothing but a life to loose
Thought I had a lot to prove
In my life, there's no denying

Goodbye to all my yesterdays
Goodbye, so long, I'm on my way

I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday

Change, everybody's feeling strange
Never gonna be the same
Makes you wonder how the world keeps turning
Life, learning how to live my life
Learning how to pick my fights
Take my shots while I'm still burning

Goodbye to all those rainy nights
Goodbye, so long, I'm moving on

I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday
Hit the gas, take the wheel
I've just made myself a deal

There ain't nothing gonna get in my way
Everyday

Goodbye, so long, I'm moving on

I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday

I, oh I, oh I, I'm gonna live my life everyday
I (gonna touch the sky), oh I (spread these wings and fly), oh I
I'm gonna live my life everyday

Here's wishing everyone a fantastic 2010!

Skye Jr.

2009-12-28T20:40:00.001-08:00

This is the doll my mom gave Skye for Christmas. She looks exactly like Skye did at about 2 years old. She came fully clothed, but of course Skye stripped her naked within minutes. Why? Because that's what 5 year olds do, I guess. Then she pretty much abandoned her. I'm hoping those maternal instincts kick in before she has one of her own!

Sean has adopted Skye Jr. He says that she's a great replacement for when Skye is at school or asleep or just busy doing other things. And he has been taking care of her ever since. He has referred to her as his little sister on more than one occasion.

He is a very loving and proud big brother, and takes his job seriously.

Yep, just hangin' out watchin' The View.

How Many Clicks Does It Take?

2009-12-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

It took about a half hour. Thank heavens for digital cameras!! I can take a thousand pictures and instantly know if it turned out or didn't. How did our parents ever get a decent picture???

I figured it was best to get the sillies out right away!

I would like to point out right here and now that Jason and Tad actually argued over who got to lay across the front of the picture! My boys who absolutely HATE to have any photographic evidence of their existence. Jockeying for prime up-front-and-in-your-face position.
I tell you, it made my heart well up just a bit!

Skye got a little too serious! Look at that attitude!
I think she and Tad have a little Zoolander going on.

And the sillies are baaaack!!
I used the candlelight setting and it's not very forgiving.

Lots of blurries.
You have to hold REALLY still for candlelight setting to capture.

But when it does, you get a really great picture!

I will also note that I was so desperate to get a family Christmas picture, I told the kids to just wear "WHATEVER!! JUST GET IN FRONT OF THE DAMN TREE!!"

They took me seriously.
Jason is wearing a Halloween shirt with a cartoon ghost on it that says "be afraid. be very afraid."
Tad shirt has "I got out of bed for this?" as his Christmas sentiment.
And Sean is wearing his Lu Sutton school shirt. At least it's green!

We call this one Mom's Big Butt!

Setting the timer, running and then posing super still is harder than you think!

But I am a MASTER!
I am stealthy like ninja!!

I love this one.
Sean adores Skye.

Look at those faces!!
It's that level of cuteness that has kept them alive so long!!

Happy Holidays!!

Holiday Blahs

2009-12-16T21:07:00.000-08:00

So with all the decorating and creating and crafting and Elfing - you'd think that I'm excreting glitter and good tidings.

And the truth is - I'm not.

I'm trying. Oh how I'm trying. I so want to be full of holiday mirth and merriment. Feeling the fullness of the holidays, reveling in the romance of the... blah blah blah...

Instead, I feel sadness. And aloneness. And wanting to sleep all the timeness.

If I had my druthers (not that I know what druthers are, but if I did AND I had them) I would set my alarm clock for sometime around noon on March 21st, when spring is officially sprung. I'd curl up under the quilts and hibernate until then. Of course, I'd stock the freezer with lots of waffles and pizzas for the kids. Cause my nurturing never sleeps.

Since that isn't an option, I'll try to avoid walking zombie-like through the next three months.

I'm going to make an extra effort to find the joy in this holiday. I have my kids and my health and my family and a job and home... I have more of my life in front of me than behind me. I have so much going for me. Life is good. It really is.

Why can't that be enough?

Buddy the Elf could totally live here!

2009-12-15T18:01:00.000-08:00

I've been shopping, planning and building to today.
I have my crafts ready.
It's decoratin' time!!

The kids spent hours the other night making a million paper snowflakes.
The older kids even had a contest to see who could make the smallest - I believe Jason won.

We're doing a Nightmare Before Christmas/Addams family/Gothic theme.
In that spirit, this snowflake is totally my favorite!

Inspired by the movie Elf (and another blog, which I totally can't remember! Sorry whoever else did this - it was genius! I owe you one!!)

I've also made at least a dozen wreaths to hang on all the doors in the house.
And a few other places too.

Our baby grand is the perfect place for these wreath holding gargoyles!
And yes, that's Bon Jovi's Anthology - my Jersey boys!

The kitchen table centerpiece - a pirate bowl filled with cinnamon scented pinecones.

I love these silver jingle bell ornaments.
No enhancements needed whatsoever!

I found these at Michaels - $.59 each and they were 50% off!!
They just needed some metallic paints in black, purple and silver glitter!

'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas
All thru our house!

The Princess and The Beastly

2009-12-12T19:24:00.000-08:00

Today was a rare and blessed day off work. I spent the first part SLEEPING IN! Oh yeah. It was awesome! I didn't get up until 7:45 a.m. - I KNOW, right? Totally like a teenager, all that was missing was a mega can of Aquanet and a trip to the mall! Oh sorry, just flashing back to my teenage years.

Then I went to Target ALONE (it's almost like a dream, isn't it!) and did a bit of shopping. It was totally not crowded at all. Even for a Saturday. Weird. Hopefully it's cause they were all over at Dollhouses, Trains & More!

At noon, I took Sean and Skye to see The Princess and the Frog. The kids LOVED it (and so did I!) It's a wonderful addition to the Princess collection. Fantastic! Sweet, charming, appropriately scary (remember Ursula the seawitch, the Witch from Snow White, Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, etc...) catchy soundtrack. And it was nice to see a real, hand-drawn animated movie again. I'm so old-school!

Then home to do some more decorating. And now I'm curled up in bed, blogging away, and waiting for It's A Wonderful Life to come on in a few minutes. Followed by Saturday Night Live, musical guest Bon Jovi... where's that Aquanet?!

The Elves Are Working Overtime

2009-12-11T21:22:00.000-08:00

Guess what I get to do all day at work?
Can you believe I get paid for this!

Skye McKenna's getting a dollhouse for Chriiiiiissssstttmmmaaaaassss!!
Shhhhh!

Oh Baby Baby

2009-12-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

A family friend's daughter is due TODAY! She's having a little boy (awwww!!) and I'm crocheting like MAD! I was off on the due date, by about a month. Oops! Or I would have started on this... oh, ok. Who am I kidding?! I still wouldn't have started on it til last week! Procrastination = middle name (srsly, it's on my birth certificate!) She better keep it in there for at least two more days!

My morning in pictures

2009-12-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

What a great way to start the day!

Jack Frost is a stingy bastard

2009-12-08T07:16:00.001-08:00

Sean greeted me getting out of the shower yelling "IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED!" Eh, not so much. My poor little snow deprived California baby. That would be frost. We had our first hard frost of the season. And yes, it did leave a crunch white layer on the world outside our door.

However, you might want to put the carrot and eyes of coal back in your snowman kit.

Single Mother of Five is the Loneliest Number

2009-12-06T20:04:00.000-08:00

It finally hit me tonite. My loneliness is overwhelming. Much as I love my kids and the holidays, there are things about this time of year that just suck. Couples and families and kids with their dads and friends with their husbands. And me. Just me. Always, only, me. Kids can't fill this void, it's not their job.

I don't date. I don't even consider it. I shove my FIVE kids in everyone's face, just to be sure. My protection against ever getting hurt again. But I hurt anyway. Just a different kind.

I'm tired. Frustrated. Stranded. Isolated. I know I have lots of friends. And family. But it's not the same thing. I miss companionship. Having a buddy, someone who was in this with me, for better or worse. Someone to help carry the burden and worry. Not that I necessarily had that with my past husbands. It was missing then too. I envy my friends who have found that. Why couldn't I? How did I get is all so very wrong?

Who's bringing the cake to my pity party?

What a great idea... now move yer arse!

2009-12-04T06:46:00.001-08:00

Seems I'm back to weekly posting. Oops. I'd love to blame it on being too busy, I am pretty busy. But really, I come up with great things to post about... and then sit down in from on my laptop and promptly forget. Or decide they sound lame. Which is worse: lame or nothing? Lame could still be entertaining. Guess I should post anyway. Because afterall, you are what you post. And some days, I'm pretty lame (just ask my teens!)

I have been busy crocheting. Lots of hats and headbands for Skye, testing out patterns and designs. I'm working on a baby blanket for a coworker's daughter, she's due anyday.

I've also been gathering supplies for Christmas decorating. I'm going way out of the box this year - we're doing a sort of Nightmare Before Christmas/Addams Family/Gothic Christmas theme. Lots of dark purple, black and silver. I think it'll be different and fun. Jason doesn't like the idea AT ALL. He thinks it won't feel like Christmas. Oh, it'll be Christmasy, no worries!

The Christmas tree is already up, it's a fakey. As a kid, I swore I'd never have an artificial tree, I hated them. They were REAL. And then a few years ago, there was a crazy post-Turkey Day sale on fake trees. We were able to get a $200 tree for $50! That's what we were spending on a real tree. This is a 7+ footer and we can't have too big a star on top or it won't fit! I love having a tree that goes all the way to the ceiling! It's a beautiful, full tree. And the best parts: I don't have to remember to water it (I barely remember to water the children!) I don't have to vacuum up pine needles. And the best: I sleep peacefully at night with the tree fully ablaze and not a worry about the thing catching fire! Oh, and no wondering about how to dispose of the thing come ~~February~~ January! Not to mention that we can put up the tree whenever we want, on the spur of the moment, on a whim. Like hey, kids, go get the tree. If we wanted to do a Fourth of July tree, we totally could... you know, that just might be a fun thing to do next summer!! I bet I could pick up some blue lights on bargain after Christmas. Putting red stars and white garland - maybe I could find a statue of liberty to put on top!

LOL - I'm laughing at my own "creativity". Did I mention that my NAKED tree is up? And has been for almost a week now. Yeah, I'm great with the ideas. Terrible with the follow through. The makings for the ornaments for our Halloweentown Christmas Tree on in bags by my bed and the trunk of the car, along with the rest of the decorations and two wreaths I need to put together. Oh and I'm doing things like putting Santa hats on our plastic jack-o-lanterns and small wreaths around a few gargoyle statues we have. Things like that. I have all the supplies. I just need to get moving on them. Guess I should start now!!

Just Oozing with Thanksgivingfulness

2009-11-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

Right this moment I am sitting in my bed, curled up in soft blankets, my sweet little Skye sleeping by me. She still sucks her thumb while burrowing into her baby blankie. She may be 5 and a half (don't forget the HALF!) when she's awake, but sound asleep she's still only two. My baby. My youngest. My last. I try so hard to treasure these moments, to really live in them. To feel them. To make them a tactile memory that I can relive when she's 16 and driving off in my car with her friends after telling me that I'm old and just don't get it. Which will practically be tomorrow. And that's why I'm taking these five minutes and wrapping them up, tucking them away in my heart.

She's already woken up and gone to play with Sean. See how fleeting those moments are. I didn't even have time to write them down and flash! Gone.

I COULD be angry, as I got up and walked around the house this morning. It's trashed. I hate that. Somehow in the day I was at work yesterday, the house imploded. Last night while I was sleeping, it got worse. Dominating the family room is a tent city, composed of half the household blankets and all the dining room chairs. Last night's dinner dishes are still on the table, along with the last minute groceries I picked up on my way home (nothing needing refrigeration. More thankfulness!) The older kids stayed up half the night playing on the PlayBox thing (got that from Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side. Brilliant movie, check out my review of it HERE.) The proof of that litered across the living room. And my kitchen... oh, my poor poor kitchen! Who would have thought frozen pizzas could spawn such a multitude of dirty dishes?

But, I choose instead to say Oh Well. This is life with 5 kids. It's a life I'm not going to be living in for much longer, I concede. My oldest is 18. Jason at 17 is in his Senior year and already planning his exodus. I'll always be the mother of 5, but I won't be living with them all in the near future. And while part of me looks forward to a lessening of the mess and chaos, I know me well enough to acknowledge that there will be days I'd trade clean floors and washed dishes to have them all back under my roof again.

I choose to make positive memories today. Of fun and togetherness and just being happy I'm not at work. It will not be remembered as the Thanksgiving Mom blew a gasket because the house was a mess and no one did their chores (again!) I'm sad and embarrassed to say, we already have enough of those memories. Thanks. We're all stocked up. No more.

Besides, we're heading over to my parents' house in about an hour!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Let's Make a Turkey Dinner!

2009-11-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

Today is Feast Prep Day! Tuesdays are my day off, and I'll be spending this Tuesday cooking a turkey and all the fixin's! We'll be spending the majority of Turkey Day over at my parents with the extended fam that is around (which is still a helluva lot of people!) Heading over for breakfast and then hanging out until just before dinner is served. I admit to using Sean's food allergies as an excuse to do our own. The truth is a bit more complicated than that.

It IS much easier to make a fully GFCF dinner than to pick and choose between what is being served at someone else's house, combing through there recipes and ingredients. There's hidden gluten in places people would NEVER think to look (like most prepared gravies) and dairy in just about everything (mashed potatoes, cauliflower au gratin.) Even the jello salad has whipped cream on it. And the green salad is pretossed with croutons. Thanksgiving isn't a gluten and casein free friendly holiday (neither is Christmas, since it's basically the same menu maybe trading out the turkey for a goose and throwing in a ham... mmmm.... ham!) And sure, I could make and bring Sean his own dinner (but then I'm making a whole dinner anyway.) But I'd have to make sure Sean was eating his own roll, not one of the regular ones. Are those Sean's mashed potatoes or the ones with milk and butter? Oops, someone brought a cherry pie, but I only made GFCF apple and pumpkin - of course, Sean wants to have the cherry one... Well, you can see the headaches already. And that's just the start.

But the other problem is that Sean just gets overwhelmed by large groups. He gets sensory overload and starts to shut down. He doesn't have meltdowns (thank goodness!) but he'll go off and play in a corner by himself. And that hurts my heart. Here we'll be in a housefull of kids and he's in a far corner of another room, babbling to himself. Off in his own world. Sometimes I'll even find him in one of the guest bedrooms, he'll have put himself to bed because it all just got to be "too much". It's such a stark reminder that he's not like the other kids. That he's "special".

And so I try to keep our time in these situations on the shorter side. My mom doesn't really understand and has been badgering me about staying for dinner. We've been doing this every holiday for the past year. You think she'd get it by now. I know she wants her family around as much as possible. And if I didn't work with her everyday, this might be more of a valid arguement!

But that's just it, too. I want to spend time with my kids. And when we are at these big family gatherings, I hardly even see them. So I am selfish and want to have some quality just our family time too. When we leave my parents, we head home to food already cooked and ready to heat 'n eat (which is why I'm cooking today.) We watch movies and play games, usually throw a log or two in the fireplace and just relax. While I love visiting with my sibs and their kids, whom I don't see all that often; this "just us" time is by far my favorite part of the whole day.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve Day!

Feelings of Less than Adequacy

2009-11-19T10:23:00.000-08:00

I worry about Sean. A lot. Probably too much. I'm one of those people who tends to borrow trouble. I worry about stuff that may or may not even happen. Like the bi-polar disorder. I have way too much experience dealing with someone with BPD and the fact that my son probably has it (and it's currently laying dormant) just freaks the heck out of me. And so I worry and fret and google different medications and the common side effects on children. And I then lose my mind.

This is really not healthy. Not for me. Not for Sean. Not for anyone who has to live or work with me. Especially since there is a good chance it will lay dormant FOREVER. He quite possibly will never develop BPD. Meanwhile, I'm already figuring out how if they prescribe this medication it will interact with his asthma meds, etc...

And while there IS something to be said for educating yourself and knowing what your options are, it's really only a GOOD thing if those are decisions you're going to have to make. Right now, I'm not. And so I need to mentally lay this all aside and just focus on one thing. Sean.

You and Me and IEPs

2009-11-18T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today I had a nearly two hour meeting with Sean's teacher, speech therapist, district psychologist and the principal. It's his tri-annual IEP (independent educational plan - or something like that) and every three years he is re-evaluated to determine if he continues to qualify for placement in the special education program, specifically the autism class (he does.) Sean was also being tested for bi-polar disorder and dyslexia.

Sean is not dyslexic. This is a mixed blessing. At least if he had dyslexia, we would have a definitive reason for his not being able to read or write, writing his numbers and letters backwards and a clear course of action. Dyslexia is something we can work with. Unfortunately, Sean has a problem with memory, retention and comprehension. He can recognize individual letters, but if you put them together into a word, he no longer knows what to do with them. They change into something unrecognizable. His brain can't compute them. We have a long, hard road ahead. Reading and writing are going to be hard work for him. For always.

The bipolar disorder is the better news. He shows no signs whatsoever. In fact, the psychologist said that it's quite possible Sean will never develop it. He has a very laid back, easy going personality with a good sense of humor. He shows no latent anger or violence. This is GOOD. Very good.

Everyone went on and on about how much they love Sean, they love working with him. He's got a very advanced sense of humor and they all said they are amazed by some of the things he comes up with. He's a funny, smart, quiet, sensitive kid.

Well, I could of told them THAT!

Only without Kate Winslet and the giant door

2009-11-17T18:12:00.000-08:00

The Titanic - by Sean

Sean is obsessed with The Titanic. He has checked out multiple books from his school's library and wants to read out of them daily. He has taken to drawing pictures of the ship and diagrams of the ship from the books he's read. He has begged me for months to rent him the movie. I don't really feel this is an appropriate movie for an 8 year old (Kate's boobs aside) and that thought was re-enforced after taking him to see Amelia (no boobs there, quite PG). He sobbed for about 15 minutes after the end credits rolled and he realized that she didn't make it, even though he knew this going in (Amelia Earhart has been another one of his lesser obsessions and he talked about going to see that movie for a good two months before it came out.) Yeah, if he's that upset over one presumably lost pilot... well, let's just say watching the fate of over 1500 people drown... I can't afford the amount of therapy that's going to require for him to get over.

Fortunately, there are several documentaries on the Titanic, not just the disaster, but focusing more on the discovery of the ship. I managed to find one Titanica: IMAX (I assume it originally showed on an IMAX screen - that would have been amazing!) Anyway, exactly what he wanted. He loved it (thank you Netflix) and has quit bugging me about letting him watch the movie! However, his obsession hasn't waned one iota.

He drew that picture a couple of days ago. It looks a lot like the last 100 he's drawn over the past few months. But he presented this one to me with instructions. I am to give it to Grandma (my mom, who owns a hobby and toy store.) Apparently, it is blueprints to what he believes to be a really great toy that she should have made. He says "she should be able to sell it for oh, about $13.45. And a smaller pair would make nice earrings." He was straight faced serious when he said this. And then told me he'd draw another for me to keep and use to make his costume next year. Yes, he wants to dress up as the Titanic for Halloween. Unlike Skye, who will change her mind a thousand times in the next 11 months; Sean is usually one-track minded. I'm thinking tiny little plastic people hanging off with fishing line...

Oh my achin' head

2009-11-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

I have today off work. I've been looking forward to it. There's a laundry list of things I want and need to get done. Some cleaning, some cooking, some sewing. While the cleaning I fully admit to hating, the cooking and sewing - totally looking forward to. I have some new recipes I've been itching to try and patterns I just got in the mail. I have been saving them for today, a day I would finally have TO MYSELF! Golden, those words are just golden. Single working moms know that a day to yourself are as rare as hen's teeth, and twice as precious.

So what happened? I felt the headache before I even woke up. I remember the pain preceding my first conscious thoughts this morning. Why? Why today? I was going to sleep in a little later than usual (like to 6:30 maybe!) and then go for a leisurely jog (my first since October 27th) after the sun had come up and started to warm things up around here (we've been down in the 30s, which is insanely cold for here!) Then get the kids ready for school, shower AFTERWARDS, and get started on the cleaning so that it was done early and out of the way. And then on to the good stuff.

Instead, I groggily reached for some Advil only to realize I was out. And that I hadn't heard any stirrings from the kids. And Jason's school started in less than a half hour. And it takes him at least that long to walk there... not a great start!

I woke up Jason and drove him to school. Stopped at the store on the way back for Advil, Coke Zero and clementines (Sean and Skye both LOVE them and have requested them in their lunches.) Got home, got the younger kids up, dressed, and turned them over to Cali to get them breakfast and make their snacks (short days, no lunches needed.) She was sooooo kind to finish them up and walk them over to school. What would I do without her? I crawled back into bed and tried to let some quiet calm my pounding head... Tad's still home with pink eye, so he was sound asleep in his bed. Same thing as not being there.

Cali got dressed and left, she's 18, graduated and had friends to see and lunches to do. So I had that quiet house to myself. And my head pounded on. I climbed into a hot bath for a half hour. By the time I got out, my head was worse. I really didn't see that coming. Back into the comfy sweats/pjs and back into bed. Reading was making everything worse, so I had to put down my brand new copy of Stephen King's Under The Dome (sooooooo goood, and I'm only to page 50!) No blog surfing. Just vegging out watching old episodes of Will & Grace (why did they take it off the air, that was the best show ever!) and Wife Swap (how did this show get on the air? what a trainwreck! and yet, another episode is coming on... I can't stop watching!)

I just got Sean from school. Skye goes to afterschool care for the rest of the school year, so I don't need to get her until later. Sean is working on his homework. My head is like 2% less painful. At least it's moving in the right direction. I want to do something special with Sean. I try to take advantage of any one-on-one moments I get with the kids. I was hoping to take him to the park or even slip on over to the beach. But with my head, that is NOT happening. However, sitting in a dark theater for a couple hours, I can totally do that... especially with the promise of Diet Coke, kettle corn and Junior Mints. Sean wants to see Where The Wild Things Are (I took Cali, Skye and Tad to see it when it came out but Sean wasn't interested then. Now he is.) So, we'll see how that goes.

I can only pray this head thing gets better soon. I still want to get a few things done. Maybe at least try out that new recipe I've been planning. The chicken is already thawed in the fridge. I have all the ingredients. I'm really determined to get it made and if successful, the new recipe posted on my Living GFCF blog. Cause it'll be totally awesome!

I am also determined to get the fabric run through the pleater and start smocking for Skye's Christmas dress. I'll post some progress pictures once I get it started. I'm excited to finally get back to that nearly lost art. I love smocked little girl dresses - and my little girl has just about outgrown that stage! Bummer.

Little Miss Sunshine

2009-11-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

Illness in Da House and a Pictureless Wednesday

2009-11-11T08:46:00.000-08:00

The kids were all home sick from school yesterday. Coincidence that today is a school holiday? I think not! Of course, they were actually sick. Jason was running a fever, Sean's actually been home all week with chest congestion that is triggering his asthma. His wheezing scares me way more than all the Saw movies combined!

And so my house, after 5 kids have been home in it two going on two days, is trashed. TRASHED. Like a hair metal band hotel room trashed. Only minus the cigarette butts and empty beer bottles. And their drugs of choice are Children's Tylenol and Triaminic (grape flavored, why didn't they have that when I was a kid, instead of that crappy ORANGE. I HATE ORANGE. Probably because it is the flavor of medicine.)

And now, suddenly, the older kids are all feeling better. And Sean, he thinks he's feeling better. He told me so, and demonstrated by running around, and then bending over in a coughing, wheezing fit. At which point, he requested his nebulizer treatment and said maybe he'd just lie down for a while and watch SpongeBob.

I, unfortuantely, do not work for a bank or government agency. So I am at work today. Which means the cleanliness status of my home is going into DECON level 5.

I think I need to go see a movie tonite. Men Who Stare At Goats. In honor of our Veterans. Cause I'm all patriotic like that! God Bless America. And also Brendan Fraser. He played a Vietnam vet in Now and Then, uncredited. And Sgt. Stone in GI Joe, also uncredited. Selflessly serving. Oh yeah, he's a real American hero!

But seriously, THANK YOU to all our past and current service men and women. Your selfless sacrifices to protect our country, home, family and friends is appreciated more than words can say. You are true heros.

Real Life in a Real House

2009-11-10T15:50:00.000-08:00

A couple of nights ago, the kids and I had game night. I picked up a new game "Mouse Trap" at Target. Ok, I know this is not a "new" game. It's a favorite from my childhood, but the kids had never played it before. So, hence the whole newness thing. Anyway, we got a fire going in the fireplace, our first this season, and settled in for a real "Family Night".

I had the kids do their chores beforehand (the promise of a new game and some full-on Mommy-time was all the incentive they needed) so that our house would be cleanish and I wouldn't be all skeeved out sitting on the floor. Remember the whole Photoshopping my pictures into life the way I wish it was? Well, I didn't do that with these! So behold the toy corner. That place in the family room where the kids toys are suppose to be neatly stacked. Yeah, that's Toy Mt. Everest!

No self-respecting family game night is complete without pizza, eaten on the floor! We do it right! Sean had his own gluten free, dairy free pizza and I even had a Lean Cuisine bbq chicken one!

Sean took the game VERY seriously. He also WON!

Tad was totally not into having his picture taken. Teenagers! Someday he'll look back and wonder why there are no pictures of him during these years... just like I do now!

Fire, game, GFCF pizza, Ed, Edd & Eddy on cartoon network - Sean has found nirvana!

Back to Daily Blogging aka Getting Real

2009-11-09T07:41:00.000-08:00

My blog for the last while has been more of a photo album of What We Did This Month. It's had no real content, just pictures and with captions. That's about it. So much for Real Life. That's about as real as a Norman Rockwell painting. I've just been sharing the rosy bits that I've tweaked up in Photoshop, all blemish free and corrected lighting. Which is fine, if this was Mommy in Real Life-like. I'll still bring in the pictures, and yes there will be some photoshop touching up. But I'm going to have some more real content to. What it's like day in and day out to be a single mom of 5. Cause that is definitely NOT all rosy.

I'm sitting in bed right now, in sweats with socks on, seriously contemplating getting up. And yet, it's cold out there. Last week I paid an insanely high electric bill. It wiped out my bank account (ok, that doesn't really take much!) And that was from the last warm days of summer. We don't have A/C, and I have no explanation for the bill being so outrageous other than PG&E rates just went up, AGAIN. But we are also a family that tends to leave all the lights on. And tvs (and yes, we have several... like seven) and usually have at least three or four on at any given time. Often in empty rooms. And I can get up at 4 a.m. to a fully lit house with multiple tvs blaring. And at least one gaming platform on pause (we have 'em all: Xbox360, PS2, Wii, Gamecube...)

So I had a talk with the kids. This has GOT to stop. I can't afford it. And it means THEY can't afford it. If the family money is going to PG&E, then it's not going to clothes, movies or Christmas presents. They understood that. And when I got up in the wee hours of the morning today, it was to a dark and quiet house. Not a light was on, not a single tv... except mine. Yes, hypocrite that I am, I HAVE to sleep with the tv on. I need the white noise to drown out the sounds of people breaking in my house to murder me in my sleep. I've tried sleeping with it off, but THAT is all I hear. Every sound is the sound of Hannibal Lecter/Jason Voorhees/Michael Myers (no, not the guy from Austin Powers. The slow walking one from Halloween.) It doesn't help that my bedroom is at the front of the house, and so I hear all the noise from the street. I am a Mom and I'm allowed to have a double-standard.

So the house is freezing cold right now, because we've had some sort of bizarro world cold snap and Marin County now thinks it's located in Canada instead of California. Can I just tell you how impossible it is to get out of a warm bed when you can see your breath. Normally that only happens when I'm camping. And then I get to have eggs and bacon for breakfast. Mmmmm.... bacon.... But there will be no eggs and bacon today. And so there is no incentive to get out of bed. And now it's 8 and I'm running late. And I'm cold. And it's Monday. And there is no joy in Whoville.

10 Ways to Waste Time on the Internet

2009-11-03T20:37:00.000-08:00

Really? 'Cause I totally NEVER waste time on the internet. Ever. Honest. But, I suppose "other" people do. So here's how I think Other (totally not me) people waste time, top 10. David Letterman style.

10. Looking up their house on Google Earth.
9. Reading the original Julie/Julia Project blog from beginning to end.
8. Getting daily words of wisdom from Sh!tMyDadSays on Twitter.
7. Checking out the latest fashion on PeopleofWalmart.
6. Updating their Facebook status.
5. "Educational" videos on Youtube.
4. Catching up on missed episodes of Desperate Housewives on Television Without Pity.
3. Bejeweled Blitz and Scrambled on Facebook (that's two strikes, FB!!)
2. Stalking haters from the past (definitely not me, I would never do that. Ever. So not my style. I'm just saying that OTHERS might...)
1. One word: Cakewrecks!

And if you want to play along too:

Halloween Town Done Right

2009-11-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

What with Halloween being on a Saturday this year, it automatically turned it into a minimum two-day celebration. Friday, the kids dressed up for school.
Here's Tad as grapes. Honest to God, this was his idea!

Tad with his personal airbag system.

Sean wanted to be a race car driver. Thank you Disney stores for combining his two favorite things: Disney Pixar's Cars and race car driver, into one fabu costume! That I did not need to sew. Hurrah!

Skye decided that since her best friend had been a white kitty last Hallowee, she HAD to dress up as a black kitty this year. I did have to sew this one, premade cat costumes were less than Kindergarten appropriate!

Saturday afternoon found the kids suited up again. But before tricks could be treated, we had to go ~~show off to~~ visit the Great Grandparents.

And that meant a stop in to see the Grandparents, at work of course! Dollhouses, Trains & More *plug plug*

Required group shot in the Thomas the tank engine room, before heading off to ~~beg the neighbors for free candy~~ trick or treat!

I have no pictures beyond this as I was in the process of coming down with a horrible head and chest cold. I was completely unconscious before the kids rang their first doorbell!!

Renovations aka More Excuses for Procrastination

2009-11-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

I'm in the upgrade process. I was hoping to unveil the new one today. HAHA - like I've had much time to work on it! I amuse myself so much sometimes! Now I'm hoping for sometime this week, but let's face it. Getting it done by January 1st is going to be a good trick! Since I only have 50 gazillion other projects I'm ALSO working on - several of which need finishing before new blog unveiling. The need to hurry up that whole Cloning thing - I could use at least 3 more of me! And that's just to handle the kids! BWAAAHAAAHAAAA!

So, I'm going to still blog here (I'd kinda been stepping back a bit since I was going to do this whole new THANG.) When the transfer happens, it should be seemless, so no reason not to keep posting here. In the words of Doris Day "whatever will be, will be!" and some stuff in spanish.

There will be a Halloween post here later. With pictures and candy and spooky stuff. You'll just have to use your imaginations for now.

Halloween Costume Countdown

2009-10-25T07:17:00.000-07:00

Six days to Halloween and counting. I still have a couple of costumes to make. I have Skye's black kitty costume cut out, still needs sewing. I've taken a pattern and changed it (of course, that's what I do) to make it easier, no zipper but velcro instead (I mean, hello! it's a costume, not clothing!) and added a neck collar. We are skipping the hood and I'm attaching ears to a headband. Much cuter and more "little girlie", I think.

More this:

And less this:

She is very excited. She found the envelope for the pattern I'm using and has already picked out next year's costume from the one's pictured on it. Nothing like planning early!! Of course, that will change approximately 12,324,753 times between now and next Halloween! So I won't go buy the fabric just yet.

I have been busy sewing for the past couple of weeks. I've made Sean and Skye each a hooded, zippered sweatshirt, Skye a cute little plaid blouse, two Halloween dresses and crocheted her a hat and poncho.

I have some Halloween pjs cut out for Sean, along with Skye's aforementioned costume. And I still need to make Cali's red satin hooded cape for her demon costume. My mom has commissioned me to make her a 1910s traveling hat and coat. Has that much time passed that the tables have turned and I'm now making my mother's Halloween costume? How did that happen?!

Tad's in a small panic. He has no idea what to be and expects me to come up with something. Greeeaaaaat. How about a box? Or a ghost? Or a straight A student?! With his hair the way it is, maybe I can just throw some aviator glasses and leather pants on him and he can go as Jon Bon Jovi! I'm guessing it should be a costume that 13 year old boys would recognize and not just their mothers!

Maybe I'll just paint dots on a big box and he can go as a die.

My own costume I've kept exceedingly simple. I just got my hair cut into a chin length bob. I have a Steve Young jersey. So I'm going as...

10 Guilty Pleasures

2009-10-20T09:40:00.001-07:00

According to Wiki, a Guilty Pleasure is something one enjoys despite feeling guilt for it. Apparently, it is also the second studio album from Ashley Tisdale (did you know she had a first studio album? Me neither!) Go other girl from High School Musical, rock on!! Vanessa who, right?!

So here they are in no particular order:

1. Frozen Junior Mints

2. Rolling down all the windows in my car so I can crank it a little louder when Bon Jovi comes on the radio

3. Reading in the bathtub (only dropped one book so far!) until I run out all the hot water.

4. Movies - I go see anywhere from 1-5 a week, yes I am aware that is a helluva lot of money. They are usually accompanied by #1 (though I do tend to sneak those in my purse!)

5. Coke Zero - I know, I know. I gave it up. But I admit that since the 30 days was up, I've had a couple a week. So shoot me!

6. Bejeweled on Facebook

(not to be confused with Bedazzled starring Brendan Fraser - that is a pleasure I feel no guilt about whatsoever!!)

7. Reading tabloid magazines in line at the grocery store and not buying them.

8. Manis & Pedis (though I would argue these are a necessity!)

9. Spending my day off blog-surfing and watching Food Network instead of doing housework.

10. The Lifetime Channel

And if you want to play along too:

The Winchester Mystery House Flashlight Tour - at Midnight!

2009-10-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

Jason turned 17 on Tuesday, October 13th. Since the kids love to do unusual things for their birthdays (last year we went to Fisherman's Wharf and Alcatraz) I got the boys and I tickets for the flashlight tour of the Winchestery Mystery House, timing it so we were in the heart of the house at midnight (cause I'm awesome like that!) They only do the flashlight tours on Friday the 13ths and weekends during the month of October. It's considered one of the most haunted houses in America (according to who? I have no idea. But it adds to the excitement, so whatever!) I grew up in San Jose and have been on the tour several times over my lifetime, but never the flashlight tour. It's even on my 101 Things in 1001 Days list (#22). Look over at the sidebar there - oh yeah, it's officially crossed off! Boo-yah!

We arrived about 20 minutes before our tour was scheduled to start and killed some time testing our psychic powers!

They also had some DVD packs for the different years people were born.
Note Flickback to 1970:
Movies - Airport, M*A*S*H, Love Story
Television - All My Children, The Partridge Family, Monday Night Football
Music - American Woman (Guess Who), ABC (Jackson 5), Let It Be (The Beatles)
Cars - The Gremlin and The Pinto
Also born in 1970: Kelly Ripa, Matt Damon, Vince Vaughn

Eagerly awaiting our tour. Can't you just feel the excitement eminating from them?!

Quick look inside the Winchester Historic Firearms Museum. The Winchester Mystery House is believed to be haunted by the ghosts of those killed by the Winchester guns.

Me trying to get a spooky picture... doesn't really have the same effect with the flash on...

Ah, much better! I will be auditioning for the role of Ms. Joker in the next Batman.

The tour starts in the carriage house, which is bigger than our home.

Winchester family tree - just because.

Getting pictures of my boys' actual faces had to be done on the sly. The minute they saw the camera, backs were turned and hood were put up.
Ah, but I am stealthy like ninja!

Just one of the oddities this house is so famous for - the staircase that leads to nowhere.
Yep, right up to the ceiling.

Bed where Sarah Winchester died - oooooohhhhhhh, soooo spooky. We entered this room exactly at midnight. And.... nothing. No ghosts, no rattling chains, no floating candelabras.
Total let-down!

Taken from one of the second floor balconies.

The only real damage from the Loma Prieta quake was some broken bricks at the base of this chimney - interesting note, we were there on the 20 year anniversary of the Loma Prieta: October 17, 1989. And yet, not so much as a tremor. The house did sustain much more significant damage during the 1906 quake. But that had happened on April 18th, so we weren't expecting any coincidences there.

There must be a thousand staircases throughout the house - no wonder there was no obesity epidemic back in the early 1900s!

I threatened to make them walk home if they didn't at least pose for one last picture. Since it was 1 a.m. and we live about 80 miles away across at least one major bay area bridge, they grudgingly obliged.

I just thought this was totally awesome - it's a Gingerbread replica of the house!

If you ever visit San Francisco, be sure to add this to your must see list! Its just about 40 miles south and at least as interesting as Alcatraz, without the fog and freezing boat trip.

Pumpkin Pickin' at the Patch

2009-10-13T05:41:00.000-07:00

Saturday, I took my three youngest on our annual visit to the Petaluma Pumpkin Patch.
Ok, we don't always go to this particular pumpkin patch.
We just go to A pumpkin patch, you know, annually. Anyway...

Sean went nuts when he saw this giant tractor; it's all he talked about the rest of the day.
Tad pointed out how cushy the interior looked, he would probably put spinner rims on it too. Skye said "oooh, birdies!" and ran off to chase some crows.

What is it about a giant mountain of hay that kids just love?
The kids couldn't wait to climb to the top and then hop down... and then climb up again.
Giant tower of hay could solve the countries obesity epidemic!

Sean is doing his impression of a ghost, you can practically here him saying "Boo!"
Skye believes ghosts smile pretty for pictures.

The baby chickens, though I'm pretty sure these ones were teenagers. Not quite as small as chicks, not as big as full grown chickens. They mostly just laid around, squawked a lot and fought with each other when they weren't pecking around for food.
Yep, definitely teenagers!

Stealth shot of Tad the Teenager. I laughed maniacally after snapping this one.
Cause that's how I roll.

That orange t-shirt is Sean. Head first down the slide.
Pretty much his approach to life.

And there's my princess, catching some major air.
Totally her approach to life!

What were we here for? Oh yeah, PUMPKINS!

Ok Kids. Mom wants a picture of you in the wheelbarrow with the pumpkins. Why? What kind of a question is that - just get in the wheelbarrow. If I buy you popcorn will you get in? Great!

Little He-Sean insisted on pushing the wheelbarrow.
He made it about three steps before he almost dumped our pre-jack-o-lanterns.
Sorry Sean, Tad the Man had to take over.

Skye's criteria for pumpkin picking was "can I fit in it?"

Tad searched and searched until he found a green pumpkin. Why?
Because he's Tad, that's why!

I got this cool Dremel pumpkin carving tool for the kids to use. It's not really great at pumpkin carving, but this picture would have been much scarier if Sean was holding a knife!

Yeah, pretty much like this one! Tad, uh... STOP!!!

Sean's Masterpiece!

Skye's work of art. Yes, it has eyebrows. That is attention to detail, baby!!

Tad was too exhausted after cleaning out his green pumpkin to carve it. "Hey mom, did you know that green pumpkins are harder to clean out? It's like it's not ripe or something."

I took my hearts to San Francisco!

2009-10-11T21:05:00.000-07:00

On Friday, I picked Sean and Skye up from school early and met my parents and grandparents at the Larkspur ferry building. We were all going to take the ferry into San Francisco to watch the Blue Angels praciticing for Fleet Week.

One of our exotic locales, San Quentin maximum security prison.

Sean and Skye kept scouring the seas for Pirate ships. They pointed out quite a few!

Waiting for the muni bus to take us to Pier 39. These are old cable car type trolleys, date back to at least the 1940s, I believe!

There's some great artwork and sculptures along Fisherman's Wharf - and there's stuff like this giant iron crab!

The Blue Angels (you'll have to trust me here) put on a spectacular show. Sometimes they flew so low I swear we could see the pilots! I will not be working as an aerial photographer in the near future, so sorry about the sucky pics!

There was a lot of sonic booming during the air show. You don't realize how LOUD the planes are. We could hear them more than we could see them. Especially when they were buzzing Fisherman's Wharf and the marina.

Afterwards, we went to see the Sea Lions (not to be confused with seals.) You can hear them barking halfway across the pier. And the smell! I didn't remember them smelling quite so bad (or strong!) But there's been a lot on the news lately about the sea lion over population, I guess that is probably a contributing factor. The kids didn't seem to mind, and neither did the tourists!

Pier 39 draws some of the best street performers. They are wildly entertaining and extremely talented. America's Got Talent should film here! This guy is walking across broken glass -waddya think of THAT David Hasselhoff?!

My grandmother has Alzheimers and is literally in a second childhood right now. She loves to dance and sing and couldn't wait to ride the Carousel, she and Skye had the BEST time!

One of our main reasons for going, was so that my grandparents could listen to the Navy Band play. For whatever reason, we assumed this was the Navy Military band and that they would be playing big band/orchestra type stuff. Well, we all know what happens when you assume, right? It was a handful of cadets literally rocking out. Their playlist included Journey, Johnny Cash, Taylor Swift, and some serious headbanging metal! Grandma danced anyway and Grandpa even seems to enjoy it! Hey, I have awesomely hip Grandparents!

Afterwards, we all headed over to the Hard Rock Cafe for ribs and a little quiet after all that noise... have you been in the Hard Rock? Yeah, I always forget how loud they play the music in there! It was louder than outside. Oops! Food was still good (not great, but hey, it's the Hard Rock. You're there for the atmosphere and to eat while watching the great videos they don't show on Mtv anymore! You want great food, go to TGIFridays!)

By then, the kids and I were plumb tuckered out! We can't keep up with the energy of our elders, we needed a nap!! So we caught the earlier ferry and headed home.

Good Bye San Francisco!

I Got The Girl

2009-10-09T06:04:00.000-07:00

It feels like I'm walkin' on air

When we walk down our street
When the neighbors stop to watch us walk by
You can hear 'em talking (let them talk)
Sometimes I think that you're the only reason
The sun still shines (when it shines)
And when this wicked world starts bringing me down
I know that I'm one lucky guy

[Chorus:]
I got the girl (with all the cards)
I got the girl (she's a work of art)
I got the girl (who's gonna break my heart)

She says that someday she's gonna marry me
When that day comes that we walk down the aisle
She'll make me feel like a prince, a lord or a king
She likes to wear her stripe with her plaids
And she won't brush her hair (I swear)
She don't like wearing shoes in December
But I don't care (I don't care)

[Chorus:]
I got the girl (with all the cards)
I got the girl (she's a work of art)
I got the girl (who's gonna break my heart)

If I was a holy man I'd get down on my knees
So the angels that watch over her would give a break to me
Holy Mother of saint bubble gum and sister band-aid knees
Won't you please pray for the ones like me

[Solo]

But the truth is someday
Somebody is gonna take her (you see)
But the queen of hearts will always be
A five-year-old princess to me (to me)

[Chorus:]
I got the girl (with all the cards)
I got the girl (she's a work of art)
I got the girl (who's gonna break my heart)

[chorus 2:]
I got the girl (she's gonna leave her mark)
I got the girl (she's a work of art)
I got the girl (she's gonna break your heart)

I got the girl

~Bon Jovi~
From their Crush album (I Got The Girl)

As the youngest after three brothers (and one much older sister), Skye definitely has a bit of a tomboy streak. She LOVES to dress up in Sean's old clothes. Currently, she has discovered all his too small pajamas. My little princess has decided to forgo all her pink, sparkly, girlie nightgowns in favor of footballs, Disney's Cars, and monster truck jammies!

Does this mean that she's gone all-boy on me. Oh no, not my girlie girl!! She still loves her dresses. Since I've decided to break out my sewing machines again, she picked out a dress pattern and some "spooky" Halloween fabric. She has been running around the house spinning and twirling and "creeping" in her new frock.

I think the boys help give her more of a balance. She's just as happy wrestling and playing with cars as she is cuddling her baby dolls and playing dress-up in her Princess costume and make-up. She's definitely the all-American girl!

Stay off the sidewalks!!

2009-10-07T21:28:00.001-07:00

Jason had his first behind the wheel driver's training session today. The boy operated a motorized vehicle with other cars on the road. Not on a closed course!! He thought it was hilarious to come home and tell me that it didn't go so well and he hit another car. Of course, he didn't. And his instructor gave him glowing praise. His second session is on Friday. Then it's at least 50 hours with me (10 must be at night) and he'll still need one additional session with the instructor. He should be a licensed driver by March. I most likely will totally stroke out by then.

My oldest and youngest boys. Jason is learning to drive and Sean is learning to read. They are almost 9 years apart and you would think they'd have nothing in common. But I find them playing video games and watching movies together regularly. Jason helps Sean with his homework and gives him his breathing treatments when I'm not home (or busy doing one of a million other things.) Because of the age gap, there's rarely any fighting or competition. The rough housing and wrestling does tend to end with Sean in tears. Jason has a tendency to forget his size and strength. But so far, no broken bones, stitches or steel plates... well, not from the wrestling anyway.

And there's Tad, the middle boy. At 13, he's hitting the teen years hard and fast. On top of the growing like crazy (he's now the same height I am, though I've convinced him I'm still an inch or two taller and I'm sure to wear my tall shoes all the time now! Even in the house!) he's constantly texting friends and pushing boundaries. If I could just convince him that homework is half as interesting as his Xbox360, he'd be a straight A student!! Tad isn't just in the middle chronologically. He's usually smack in the middle of everything. Sean's having a meltdown - what happened Tad? Jason's pissed and slamming doors - what happened Tad? Cali's in her room in tears - what the hell happened Tad?! Somehow, someway, Tad is always somehow involved. Of all my kids, he is the one I've always said is going to give me hell. And he's already starting.

However, for all the problems, fights, holes in the walls, broken windows and massive amounts of testosterone, I wouldn't change a thing. I love my boys. I love watching football with them and taking them camping. I was a total tomboy growing up and so now I get to do all those guy things that my dad and brothers did, while I got left behind with mom. I can bait a hook, go white-water rafting in the snow (oh yes we did!) and while I'm not really big on peeing in the woods, I've done it before and I'm sure I'll do it again!!

So, despite what I usually say, the truth is: boys don't totally suck! In fact, they're sort of awesome!

Update on 101 things in 1001 days

2009-10-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

I realized tonite that I've crossed off several more things on my 101 Things in 1001 Days list over the past month, the latest one tonite. It has been a while since I've even thought about "the list" and that's pretty much par for the course with regards to the whole summer. I feel like I just lost the summer. It was gone in a blur. It's October now. I had to turn on the heater last night. No more sleeping in shorty pjs with the windows open. I've broken out the long sleeves and boots. And it feels like I just put the away last week!! I need to make one of my things "stay in the moment for a whole day at least once a week!" That's a good one - definitely next list go-around!!

But back to what I've accomplished on Ye Olde List:

#76 - Buy A Piano. Now, I've given myself a bit of leeway with this one. See, I didn't exactly buy one. My grandparents had to move into an assisted living facility over the summer. And they could only take a bit of their furniture with them. Since I was the only grandchild to endure a decade's worth of piano lessons, I was finally rewarded for it... by inheriting their baby grand!!

#91 - Run a 10K. On September 19, my sister and I participated in the Tough As Granite 10K trail run. A trail run is way different than running a few miles around my neighborhood, just FYI!!! But I did it, and it felt awesome to finish!! You can read more about that on my Marathon-Mommy blog.

#85 - Give Up Diet Coke/Coke Zero for 30 Days. I did some math and realized that in 9 months time, I would spend almost $2,000 on Diet Coke! And that was estimating conservatively! Not only is it bad for my health, it's horrible for my wallet. So for my financial as well as physical well-being, it had to go. My apologies to all the Coca-Cola shareholders. I'm sure you've noticed a big drop in sales. Sorry, times are tough for all of us!! And I don't have a picture of me not drinking Diet Coke for a month.

#15 - Create a GFCF Lasagna recipe. This was tonite's dinner. And it turned out better than I could have hoped. The kids all agree - it's actually better than the original, gluten and casein full recipe!! It's a winner and a new family favorite! YAY!!! I posted the recipe on my Living GFCF blog.

I'm already working on my next few list items!! I plan to do at least 3 a month from here on out! I'll be through that list in no time and ready to write a new one!!

A Momentus Day

2009-09-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

First thing this morning, I registered for the Paris Marathon. It's now official - I'm running a marathon on my 40th birthday through the streets of Paris (that's Paris, France FYI, not Paris, Texas!! Nothing against Paris, Texas. I'm sure it's lovely and all. But it ain't France!)

And after Jason got the last of his braces on, we stopped by the DMV. And he got his driving permit. OMG. I am so not ready to have a child behind the wheel of my car! Heaven help us all (but especially me cause I very well may stroke out before he can get his license. And that's going to really put a damper on the marathon! Good thing I got the insurance!)

I didn't know if they allowed picture taking at the DMV and I didn't want to be responsible for getting us kicked out (my luck, that would totally happen!!) So I sneakily took this picture of Jas while he was taking his test.

And here he is, a newly minted Driving Learner's Permit in-hand. He was so happy, he forgot to self-consciously refuse to show his teeth while smiling!

Missing In Action

2009-09-14T23:03:00.000-07:00

This is my Sean. He's going to be 8 on Sunday, but he's still my snuggle-bug. He's autistic, but very high functioning. He's atypical in that he's very snuggly and affectionate. He tells me how much he loves me all the time, and how beautiful I am (ah, how I need to hear that, especially in my old age.) He's a very independent child; a quiet, solitary player who still seems to be off in his own world a good portion of the time. He interacts well when we ask him too; but if left to his own devices, he's more than happy to play by himself. He's generally a very happy child.

And I forget that like any normal child, he misses me. Especially when he thinks I'm going to spend some time with him and then can't. I'd been telling him that I was going to be home all day Saturday. Then Saturday morning, a co-worker called. He had a family emergency and I need to go in and cover for him. That was my one day off. I was needed at work on Sunday, though that was planned.

So this morning, when it was time for school, Sean refused. Flat out refused to go. He was angry and defiant, very unusual for the boy who loves school. After 30 minutes of "I don't cares", I finally got him out the door and proceeded to literally drag him down the block. It was during that time that I finally figured out what the problem was. "Are you mad that Mommy had to work on Saturday and now you have to wait a week for my next day off?" "YES!" Ah, well I guess that made sense. He felt that I should take the day off work and he should get a "make up day".

If only the world were that simple. I would love nothing more than to take the day off work and spend it with my Sean. He is a fun, bright, loving, silly, energetic, wildly intelligent boy. I LOVE spending time with him, I never know what he's going to say or do. I can hardly wait til his birthday, Sunday, when I get to spend the full day with him and Skye. I already have plans for a movie and a few hours at Chuck E. Cheese (we're bringing our own gluten-free pizza!) This is what he said he wanted to do, so that's what we're doing. Afterall, it's his big day. And I may be one of those weird moms who actually likes Chuck E. Cheese. The noise and chaos doesn't even phase me... being the mom of 5, my home rivals their noise and chaos!

Sean got over his anger within minutes of being at school. I explained to his teacher what the problem was, so he could be understanding with Sean's behavior (it's very understandable that he'd be upset.) He has an AWESOME teacher, really just the perfect fit for Sean. He came home with a fantastic daily behavior report - not a hint of his morning difficulties. And he had all kinds of exciting things to tell me about school today.

Kids are so resilliant. I just have to remember that he's not invincible. He still needs his Mommy.

Visiting Our Friends "Down South"

2009-09-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, I packed up my three youngest (how many people get to say that!) and headed South... no, not that far south. Just down below SF, to my hometown of San Jose... well, almost to San Jose. San Jose adjacent, to be more specific. We were going to visit my childhood bestest friend forever (BFFS 4EVR!) Emily.

I've known Em since the 4th grade. I will not say how many years it's been, most of our lives is sufficient! I think my favorite memory is our plan that if one of us were every going to run away, we would live in the other's closet. Brilliant. However, looking back Em definitely had the better end of the deal. I had a walk-in closet and she had one of those little sliding door numbers! We had elaborate plans of how we would sneak food to each other. Hmmm... hey Em, still have room in your closet? I have my days...

Em and I got to catch up and chat away in the kitchen (so very very telling, no? But they do have the most beautiful, spacious kitchen. To be envied by all!!) Jon must be really used to Emily's bunco nights cause he had no problem whatsoever keeping up with and participating in our conversation! Way to go, Jon! (Em, you've trained him well. My hat is off to you!!)

In case you didn't notice, there's an abundance of testosterone at the Cervinos. I'm afraid the pint-size Princess was woefully outnumbered! But being the youngest after three brothers, nothing much phases her. She can run with the wolves, my girl! And so, this is how my sweet little delicate flower ended up spending the next couple hours playing in a real live MAN-CAVE! And oh, did it live up to its name!

The Cervinos are getting ready to celebrate 15 years of wedded bliss (well, I think it's more like 13 years of bliss. Those 2 years during the home remodel, probably not so much!) 15 years, 2 boys and one home-remodel. Nicely done, Cervinos! Nicely done!!

Our August of Abandon

2009-09-10T07:26:00.000-07:00

August started with a trip to the beach. The summer days were mild here in Marin County, which meant the weather at the beach was a bit cold and windy. Of course, that didn't stop the kids from stripping down to their swimsuits and jumping straight in the frigid waters of the Pacific!

Sean, Skye and I snuck away to the movies a few times. Here we are waiting for Shorts to start. This is one of the very few non-3D movies we've seen lately. We are anxiously awaiting the release of Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs later this month. And October brings a veritable cinematic bonanza with Toy Story & Toy Story 2 being digitally remastered in 3D and re-released for a limited 2 week engagement, The Nightmare Before Christmas also got the same make-over a few years ago and will be back, and the all new Where The Wild Things Are!! We may just move into the theater!

Sean and Skye are my two little nearly identical "twins". As they are getting older, impossible as it seems, they are looking even more and more alike.

Sean adores Skye and when I'm not looking, he often steals my camera and takes pictures of her and himself. I never know what surprises are lurking inside when I review the stored pictures!

The first day of school was August 20th. Jason started his Senior year of high school. Tad's in 8th grade, his last year in middle school. Sean is in the 3rd grade and a new school. And Skye, my little sweet pea, is now a big Kindergartener! Cali is working full time for a year, saving for college. Her plans are to go to Santa Rosa junior college with Jason next year.

On August 22, my grandfather celebrated his 88th birthday! He and Grandma recently moved into an assisted living home just a few miles down the road. We are really enjoying having them so close for a change. We visit them often. Lately, I've been seeing them nearly every day.

All in all, it was a great summer. Definitely over way too soon. But at the same time, we are happy to be back to our fall routine, looking forward to the brisk autumn days and all the fun holidays that come along with it. Sean and Jason's birthdays are just around the corner and then it's Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the next thing you know, it's not 2009 anymore!

False Alarm

2009-08-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

That I'm Back post was a bit premature. Sorry 'bout that. I've been spending way more time in the Paris Marathon training mode than I anticipated. And the damn knee issues. Damn knee. Well, actually, it's feeling much better (knocks on wood) and it looks like running will resume tomorrow morning bright and early. Hmm... more accurately dark and early since I'll be hitting the road at 5:30 and the sun doesn't deign itself to appear until around 6. Should I get one of those headband flashlight things for safety? I've seen other runners wear them, but they just scream COAL MINE to me.

Anyway, I'm more diligent about posting on the Marathon-Mommy blog. You know, I'm really beginning to dislike that blog name. I mean, it makes me think of this like uber-fit very pregnant woman in a leotard and spandex running pants with a big ol' Olivia Newton-John "Let's Get Physical" head band on. Crap. I'm stuck with it. Guess I better go unbox my '80s workout gear.

I'm Baaaaaack!!

2009-07-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry to have been so errant lately. I could use the excuse of extra summer activities and the ensuing chaos of 5 kids suddenly "free" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But the truth is, I just haven't been feeling the blogging vibe lately. I was going through a pretty rough patch emotionally, a bit of seasonal depression that I get this time of year for whatever reason. With great relief, I can announce that this has passed. The Dementors hanging over our house have blessedly been driven away. My own personal Patronus is in the shape of a woman running. Running toward the future and hope and dreams. I have goals again. My biggest one is that I've decided to run in the Paris Marathon next year, on my 40th birthday. I'll only be mentioning it in passing here. I've created another blog Marathon-Mommy where I can bore the world to tears with the nitty gritty details of my training.

But I just wanted you all to know that I'm back. Feeling a bit better. And ready to tackle the world once again!

Yes, I'm THAT Mother!

2009-06-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

Movies. Ah, ya know I love 'em. And what I love even more... seeing 'em first! Sneak previews, midnight showings and opening night. Most of the movies I see find me in one of those three audiences. I get it, I'm a bit of a freak (we won't even open the preview trailers can of worms! Trust me!) And I have passed this ~~obsession~~ love of movies on to my children.

I'm the mom who takes her kids to the midnight movie showings... on a school night. [hand raised] yep, that would be me. But it doesn't HAVE to be a school night. I'm taking my older boys to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen tonight. No school tomorrow (though I still have work, which sucks 'cause I'm not nearly as resilient as they are!)

Some of my friends think this puts me into the "cool" mom category. If you'd like, I can conduct a poll. I guarantee a unanimous result - my kids completely agree, with each other, that I am totally not cool. Not even a tiny little bit. Especially when I address them my saying " 'sup, homes?!" in front of their friends. Or dance. Or both. Which happens. Sometimes. I'm just sayin'... embarrassing my kids in front of their friends = total perk of parenting!

No, I don't take my kids to midnight movies to be the cool mom. Oh contrar, mon frere! I do it to bond with them. This is the kind of thing dads traditionally do with their sons. And my sons don't have that. I'm both Mom and Dad.) So I try to do some of the laid back, guy things that dads do with their kids. Especially my boys. In May, I took my two older boys camping, white water rafting and kayaking. Not traditionally a "mom" thing but no one blinks twice about a dad doing that.

And so that's the role I'm trying to fill too. Which is why sometimes we have bowls of cold cereal for dinner while watching Spongebob. Or we squirt water guns at each other in the house. Or I decide that seeing Harry Potter defeat Voldemort is more important than getting 8 hours of sleep (especially if he does it in digital 3D!!)

I just hope my kids appreciate these huge sacrifices I make for them! Cool Mom indeed (wicka wicka woooow!)

10 Things You'd Bring On A Deserted Island

2009-06-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, first off - I'm playing the Gilligan's Island edition, which means unlimited batteries, electricity and running water. And if Gilligan's Island was set in 2009, they'd totally have WiFi too. 'Cause the Professor might not have been able to fix a hole in a boat, but he's total MacGyver when it comes to rigging ~~shit~~ stuff with coconuts!

1. Because I'm a practical girl, feminine hygiene products. Oh yeah! I am NOT going to Martha Stewart myself some tampons out of banana leaves! So not happening. Ever.

2. Oral care toiletry bag including but not limited to: toothbrush, endless ball of floss, minty fresh toothpaste and Crest Whitening Strips - so that I have that celebrity smile when I am finally rescued and can flash all my pearly whites at the cameras! Plus, really, I'm just thinking of the poor actress that will play me in the made-for-tv movie about my tragedy turned triumph.

3. My laptop naturally. How else will I entertain myself without YouTube! Oh and I could blog forever... wait, didn't some guy just win this as his dream job??! He's being PAID to be stranded on a gorgeous deserted island with nothing but his laptop and blog once a week about it. 'Cause I would have totally done that FOR FREE!! Suckers!

4. Ginger's trunk of evening gowns - so appropriate for an island getaway. Besides, I'd never get a chance to wear them in my regular life!

5. Sunscreen - because I am of the pigment challenged variety. The last thing I need is some wicked sunburn and to find I was stranded on the only deserted island with no aloe plants!

6. FedEx better still be delivering my NetFlix. I'm just sayin...

7. An endless supply of Coke Zero. I don't care if they drop a container in a month at a time or just connect up a giant pipeline from the mainland. I'll take it anyway I can get it!

8. Stephen King's entire published library. I could even live without Harry Potter and the cast of Twilight (blasphemy to several of my friends... and Elizabeth is considering never speaking to me again. Sorry E. but Mr. King is the original!)

9. Bath and Body Works' Warm Vanilla Sugar lotion. Cause it's just awesome!

10. Brendan Fraser... in a loincloth... or not... :D

And if you want to play along too:

Just Call Me Pento-Mom

2009-06-10T16:48:00.001-07:00

So, here's my admission for the day. If circumstances were different (like I was married, just a wee bit more financially secure and still had working fallopian tubes) I would totally have more kids. There. I said it. I know it's not a popular notion in this day and age of two kids being considered a large family and three kids basically insane.

When I tell people I have 5, their eyeballs literally fall out of their head and are then squooshed by their jaw crashing to the ground. After the stunned silence and they take a moment to put all their facial features back into place, they usually ask me to repeat myself. Oh yeah, it's 5... last I counted. This is usually followed by head shaking in disbelief and some form of "I don't know how you do it." To which I just smile and nod knowingly. If I'm feeling flippant, I'll say "medication" or "I drink heavily in the afternoon" - something along those lines. People like for me to acknowledge that this is indeed crazy, that no sane person would purposely have FIVE children. And that it must be just an overwhelming, mind-robbing, life-sucking, emmense to the nth power job. I have a secret... it's not.

Sorry to disappoint. I love it. I LOVE IT. Oh sure, there are bad days. Everyone has their bad days. Even billionaires have days that blow. Even gorgeous people have butt-ugly days. Life isn't all daisies and rays of sunshine all the time. Cause seriously, that would be totally boring. And then we wouldn't appreciate it at all, would we?

So, I love having a big family. I FREAKING LOVE having five kids. If I could, I would have a dozen. That is not in any way, shape or form an exaggeration. I would totally have 12 kids. Maybe it's just that my kids are more awesome than other kids. Maybe that's it. Or maybe that I'm just a big kid, so I like being surrounded by my peeps.

It probably has to do with coming from generations of big families. My dad was the oldest of 11. Yep ELEVEN. And I loved hanging out at his parents' house, which was literally just a block away growing up. I'm just 5 years younger than my youngest aunt, so I grew up with my aunt being more like my sister. Especially since my only real sister didn't come along until I was nearly 14. I loved being a part of that big, noisy, chaotic family. As a kid, there was always someone to hang out with, someone to play with, someone baking cookies or willing to teach you to sew. For a kid, this was like being at camp all the time! And I always wanted my kids to grow up with that same cameraderie and feeling of inclusion.

And maybe that's why my autistic kids are much more social than most. Sean is the most "severe" and yet he's always talked, if not clearly, certainly with abundance! He's a little jabber-jaw. Same with Skye. Sean is still more of a parallel-player, but he knows how to get along with other kids. He's never had trouble sharing, or having other kids in his play space. Cause that's just been his reality since birth. There have always been other kids around. He's always had to share. That's all he's ever known. He also does unusually well in loud and chaotic situations. A bunch of people talking at once rarely freaks him out. Why? Well, that's what he's heard since the womb! Being number four of five has been nothing but beneficial for my little Seanathon Beastly!

Now, as a single, totally broke, working mom, having more kids is not even an option. So I won't be competing with Octo-mom on any reality shows in the near future. But if things were different, you'd still be calling me Tiffany (cause really, Pento-mom just sounds stupid!)

10 Favorite Things To Do During "Me" Time

2009-06-09T14:53:00.000-07:00

"Me" time - the definition of this has changed over the years. As a child and adolescent, every moment of every day was me time. Then I got married and had a baby. Suddenly, "Me" time was taking an unaccompanied shower, or getting to use the potty by myself. With two kids in 18 months, "Me" time mostly involved breathing and trying not to cry.

Now my kids are older, and my baby can make herself a sandwich. I haven't had company in the bathroom since Sanjaya introduced the pony-hawk. I get to go on mini-vacations and weekends away sans children more often that I can believe! So, without further adieu, here's "Me" Time, the no more babies version:

1. Go to a movie - I know that you are all totally shocked by this. Whaaa?? Tiffany likes movies? You don't say? Yeah, I know. I like to state the obvious!

2. Exercise - whether it's an hour at the gym or just hitting the elliptical with an episode of Friends and my door tightly locked - workout time is my ultimate ME time!

3. Go to the library - yep, uber-geek here. Our library has free Wi-Fi. Sometimes I'll take my laptop and go hang out with the college kids at the library for a few hours in the evening - you know, now that Biggest Loser is on hiatus.

4. Sew - I used to LOVE to sew. Love it. And I just haven't had the time anymore. Well, I've spent the last week getting my machines out of mothballs (and taking one down to the shop for repair - $120 later! YIKES!!) But really, I love creating things. And sewing is a wonderful way to express myself. So much so, that I'm opening an etsy shop. I'll have a link to it when I get it up and going. Hopefully by the end of the month.

5. Manicure/pedicure/spa-treatment crap - I don't do this often. Looking at my feet, I definitely don't do it often enough! Double Yikes!! I better schedule me some "Me" time at the nail salon darn quick!

6. Crocheting - this goes along with #4. I'm working on a baby blanket for a friend of mine right now. It's so relaxing and just fun. And I love having something to do while I'm vegging out in front of the tv. I get to feel productive - bonus!!

7. If gas wasn't so expensive (we're one cent away from $3 per gallon for regular!) I'd say going to the beach. I used to love to just stroll along the shore, listen to the waves crash, smell that salty ocean air, feel the mist on my face and the sand under my feet. There is seriously nothing in this world more relaxing and rejuvenating than time on the beach.

8. Daydream - this is a luxury I've reclaimed in recent years. When the kids were small, I didn't even have a moment long enough for my own thoughts, much less a whole fantasy. Now, I love to just close my eyes and let my mind wander. Ah... Brendan Fraser... hmm... wha... oh yes...

9. Sleep - yep, sometimes (very rarely) I change into my comfiest jammies, curl up in bed and take a nap... in the middle of the day!! All by myself!! It.Is.Awesome!

10. Read - this is my number one favorite thing to do. I try to carve out time to read every day. I went for a few years without pleasure reading and I tell you, I was all the worse for it. For all the movie-whore that I am, it's reading that I could not live without.

And if you want to play along too:

We Got Our Just Desserts

2009-06-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

I got the most divine recipe for Cherry Crisp from Gluten Free Mommy. It was simple, fresh and delicious. My favorite part is that it's NATURALLY gluten free, rather than using modified products. Ok, so it's a lot of fat and sugar - it's a DESSERT, not health food! But most desserts are full of gluten, and those that aren't are dairy products. So dessert isn't something we have a lot of around here. Or it's GFCF cookies or cake - which are either expensive mixes or premade and usually full of chemicals to get the GFCF. From scratch is a challenge since it takes a combination of different non-wheat flours to get anything even vaguely resembling a wheat flour. And let's face it, the end result still leaves something to be desired.

So, back to the Cherry Crisp. It was fabulous!! A new family favorite - and it will definitely be making an appearance at the holidays! The perfect alternative to a traditional pie. I'm going to be trying lots of more recipes over the next few months. I hope to expand my repertoire. I'm still searching for the perfect GFCF lasagne crockpot recipe. I found one involving eggplant. I'm willing to give it a try, I bought a couple of eggplants and everything! Fingers crossed!!

'Cause We're a Bunch o' Players

2009-06-05T15:35:00.000-07:00

In my world, Friday night is movie night. Y'all know I'm a total movie freak and if I can't see a movie before it actually opens (as in a sneak preview or at the very least, the midnite showing, like last night's Land of the Lost) then I HAVE to see it opening night. Seeing a movie the Saturday night of opening weekend is near torture. And if for some reason I have to wait til Sunday, then forget it. I might as well have waited for the DVD. I am aware I have issues, I'm seeking medication for this.

Tonite, Cali and I are going to see My Life In Ruins (look for the review on my movie blog Cinemarific tomorrow.) It looks appropriately chick-flicky. I've been seeing a lot of action movies (Terminator Salvation), guy-type comedies (previously mentioned Land of the Lost) and kid/family movies (Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian & Disney Pixar's Up.) So I'm totally up for some girlie romancey comedy type cinematic mushiness. And also comedy. Cause Nia Vardalos is pretty freakin' hilarious. Any one who can play a woman playing a man playing a drag-queen has got my vote (Connie and Carla costarring the ever brilliant Toni Collette... but I digress!)

Usually, Friday night involves me running out of work at precisely 5:30, swooping through Safeway's pizza section for a quickie dinner to drop home for the kids after I've fetched Skye from daycare and then hotfooting it down to the local theater and just sliding into my seat before some dancing cats tell me to "please silence and put away my cell phone now." Just before the previews start. 'Cause me, I am a previews whore! If I'm going to miss the previews, I'll wait for the next showing. Seriously. Not even joking a tiny bit. I've opted not to go to a movie when I realized I'd miss the previews. (I've already mentioned I'm seeking medical help.)

However, tonite's movie does not start until 7:50. And I get home from work around 6pm. Which gives us a good hour and a half of family time. And while we're still having pizza, I will be home to enjoy a slice or two with the kids. But what's more, is there will be time for games! Yay!! Pizza and game night! AND a movie. See, it is possible to have it all!!

What Makes You So Normal?

2009-06-03T14:27:00.001-07:00

I have five kids. Three of them are on the autism spectrum. Two of them are "normal". I cringe at that term and rarely use it. I don't like it. Define "normal" - who gets to decide what that is? Looking at my kids' stats, autism is our normal. It's the two non-spectrum kids that are the odd ones.

This became important a few months ago. I was having one of many discussions with Cali about Asperger's Syndrome. She wasn't diagnosed until she was 16. She grew up feeling different, not like the other kids, an outsider. Amazingly, she always managed to have friends. Not a big crowd, but a couple of very close BFFs. Thankfully, she was never the target of bullies or teasing. I still don't know how she managed to avoid that, maybe it's because she is such a genuinely sweet girl. You just can't help but love her.

So we were talking and somehow got around to some of her "uniquenesses", like her obsessions with certain things: Yugio, Egypt and dragons. And when I told her that was totally normal for someone with Aspergers, I could actually see the relief in her whole body. She was NORMAL. Words she had longed to hear her entire life. There wasn't anything wrong with her. She has Asperger's Syndrome and she is a perfectly normal Aspie. Until that talk, she wasn't sure how she felt about her diagnosis. But after we talked, she realized that it didn't label her or limit her. In fact, it liberated her. I hope I can do the same for Sean.

Let's Just Cut the Crap!

2009-06-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

It's 11:30 at night and instead of sleeping, I'm googling GFCF recipes. I realized tonite that none of Sean's pants fit him anymore. He's gotten a bit of a tummy. He's a fairly active kid who doesn't really eat a lot. But what he does eat... it's terrible.

I've become lazy and complacent. Our diet is almost 100% processed. Actually, that's not true. MY DIET consists of lots of salads and fresh foods. My KIDS' diet is 99% processed (they have the occasional banana.) I haven't been eating with my kids, not for a couple of years now. I eat my dinner at work, in a very controlled environment. I'd have the older kids take turns "fixing" dinner for the family (minus myself.) Since I wanted to ease their burden (and the complaining!) dinner making consisted of opening cans, nuking meals and baking pizza. And the occasional sandwich. And all too often cereal. Yep, cold cereal for dinner.

It's embarrassing to admit that I let my kids' diet get so out of control while at the same time focusing so much on protecting my own. Isn't that the antithesis of what Motherhood is all about? Oh, my kids weren't complaining. There were lots of frozen pizzas, Taco Bell, hot dogs, and frozen waffles. And the cereal nights. Those happened when I instructed them to fix pasta or maybe scrambled eggs and they gave me any sort of resistence or attitude and whined "can't we just have cereal???!!!" And I'd cave. Then hop on my elliptical or head to the gym or even worse, sit on the computer blog-surfing.

Two of my kids are overweight. Only a bit, but still, they are not within their healthy guidelines. And worse, they're self-conscious about it. And now Sean is heading that way. It's time to stop. I need to seriously pull my head out! What am I doing to my kids?

And especially Sean! He's so food sensitive, with all his allergies and intolerances. I should be the MOST careful with his diet. But I've found like 10 foods that are safe for him and that's basically what he eats. All processed, prepackaged, nutritionally devoid CRAP. I'm feeding my poor autistic kid garbage when I KNOW that quality of food is crucial for him. And then I wonder why he hasn't made any progress this school year. Maybe it's all the Fritos, fruit snacks and Capri Suns he has DAILY.

My behavior has been criminal. Its abuse and neglect, pure and simple. I'm literally poisoning my kids. And it has to stop. Now. Today. And so it did.

I COOKED DINNER TONITE! Baked gluten free penne pasta with ground turkey in a tomato sauce. And sauteed italian veggies (ok, so it was a bag of frozen veggies, but I did saute them in GFCF margarine on the stove.) You'd have thought I'd introduced Brendan Fraser as their new dad - their excitement and gratitude was palpable! And we realized it was the first meal I'd prepared... this year.

And I will continue to actually COOK. I will put fruits and vegetables in my kids' lunches. I will stop buying processed garbage and most importantly - I will be present and active in my kids' diets and lives. Our futures depend on it!

A little hump day quickie

2009-05-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

No, not that kind of quickie. Just a brief posting from the heart of Disneyland... well, ok about three blocks away. At the Travelodge. Sean's in the shower and I'm on-hold with the Rainforest Cafe in Downtown Disney, waiting to talk to the chef. I'd love to take Sean there for lunch, a great ending to our little Disney excursion. But I want to know if he'll actually be able to eat anything on the menu, or if they have any gluten-free off-menu selections. So many places do these days, but you have to know what to ask for. Too often the wait-staff is uninformed. Fingers crossed. I've been on hold for 10 minutes so far. But hey, chefs are busy people. And I'm more than willing to be patient. Besides, more blogging time, right?

Ok, just spoke with the chef (Maha? Sounds like something I'd order pan-seared! But she was lovely and so helpful, so thou wilt not mock!) And while their selections are pretty limited, I think Sean will love the experience. And hopefully the grilled chicken! I am disappointed that their fries come pre-seasoned (a seasoning with flour in it, no less!) I expect fresher food than that! Especially at those prices (but their fries ARE delish... ah, the irony!) She said they had chips though. So, we'll see how things go. I can get a very very nice cocktail - and at 11:00 am. It's going to be another magical day!

Go Lick a Slug!

2009-05-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

As I was driving past the elementary school across the street from my house this morning, I noticed a line of school buses parked in the circular drop off/pick up driveway. Milling about on the front lawn were lots of tired and dirty looking 5th graders, some dragging worn duffle bags, others sitting on suitcases waiting to be picked up by parents. Ah, the return from Walker Creek science and nature camp!!

Growing up in San Jose, I attended Redwood Glen now known as Walden West. These are some of my very fondest memories. It was my very first sleep away camp! And it was CO-ED!! Which was a very very big deal to my budding little pre-teen heart! Oh sure, there were nature walks and lots of sciency learning-type stuff. Licking banana slugs and whatnot. But the BEST part - after dinner every night they showed a movie. And we all got to sit together on the floor IN THE DARK. Next to BOYS! Virtually unchaperoned. O.M.G!

My Redwood Glen boyfriend was Gary Neves. The first day we were there, one of Gary's friends (probably a Steve or John) told me Gary wanted to know if I would sit by him at the movie that night. And my totally cool and nonchalant reply, "yeah, sure. Ok." Now, we didn't speak during the day, barely acknowledging each other's existence. But sure enough, as soon as those lights went down, we were side by side HOLDING HANDS THE ENTIRE MOVIE!! Oh, be still my heart! I remember telling my girlfriends later that night, whispering after lights out, hanging upside down from the top bunk, that his hand was sweaty and I'd lost feeling in my fingers somewhere around the 1 hour mark. Ah, young love!

That continued every night until the last night. Gary didn't sit by me. He sat by ANOTHER GIRL (probably a Stacy or Stephanie.) And I could see him holding HER hand. Men! I don't recall being devastated, though I probably cried that night and wrote a heart-wrenching entry in my diary. My Redwood Glen fling was over. Heartbreak at Science Camp. I think just about every 6th grade girl my age has some version of this same story in her history. And the boys probably just remember peeing in the woods and licking those banana slugs.

And then I think of Sean. He's only in 2nd grade now, but 5th grade will be here soon enough. That's the elementary school he'll be going to next year. He is bused to a different one now, since he's in the K-2nd Special Day Class and that's only offered at the school across town. He's not mainstreaming next year as we had hoped. In fact, he most likely won't be mainstreaming ever.

And so I wonder what the future holds for him. Will he get to go to Walker Creek with the "regular" kids? Will he be separated or will they have them mingle? Will he be excluded since he's in the Special Day Class, labeled Special Ed, ostracized? Will he get to hold hands with a girl in the dark during movie time? I want for him to experience so much more than licking banana slugs and hiking through a rainy forest led by a college kid from Santa Cruz. And I worry that being in the "special" class will prevent him from having the experiences that I hold most dear.

I hope that he'll be able to make his own special memories. I need to learn to let go and remember that my job as a parent isn't to give him the childhood that I wanted. But the one that he wants. And needs. It's about him. Not me.

This mom stuff is HARD!!

Testing 1, 2, 3 Testing

2009-05-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

Just taking the new layout for a little test drive. She's handling mighty-fine, boys!

Just call him Wheezy

2009-05-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

Poor Sean. An innocent afternoon of swimming in the grandparents' pool turned into a trip to Urgent Care and a full round of steroids. Somehow, an hour in the pool triggered an asthma attack, the likes of which he hasn't had in nearly 18 months. His doctor thinks that the pool chemicals have something to do with it, though exactly what we aren't sure. And here I was beginning to think he was outgrowing the worst of it. Foolish foolish me!

Not to be out-done, Skye broke out in a head to toe rash the following day. Culprit... that damn pool!! Just what the hell did my stepdad put in it?!! Geez Lou-ise!

Good news is, they both went back to their respective schools yesterday. AND I DIDN'T GET A PHONE CALL TO COME GET THEM HALFWAY THROUGH THE DAY!! That's monumental. Especially for Sean, since the 'roids were making him more hyper and fidgety than usual. They're still on meds. Skye's rash has completely cleared up but she's still complaining about itching a bit. The Benedryl has worked miraculously and I'm definitely adding them to my Christmas Card list!!

Unfortunately, Sean is still a little wheezy. Just a touch. But enough so that I've had to stop his Tae Kwon Do lessons, which totally sucks. When a rousing game of Sonic on the GameCube has me running for his inhaler, well, flying side kicks just don't seem like such a good idea.

He and I are going to Disneyland on Tuesday (we have free tickets that need to be used before they expire and it's his turn.) This will require bringing: his inhaler, nebulizer, epi pen and a print out listing all the Disney restaraunts that offer gluten and dairy free items off-menu (like the Pizza Port in Tomorrowland. You just have to ask, they have gluten free pizza AND pasta!!) Disneyland is the only amusement park I know of that caters to kids with special needs on this level. And they get huge props from me!!

Seriously, a big KUDOS to Disneyland!!

10 Favorite Cities

2009-05-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

Ooooh, I haven't done one of these in a while!!

1. San Francisco - I love my city by the bay. LOVE IT!! I would totally marry it. Damn you supporters of Prop. 8!!

2. Santa Cruz, CA - the summers of my youth were spent here.

3. San Jose, CA - my hometown, the heart and soul of Silicon Valley. I love that I grew up here in the '70s and '80s.

4. Marin County, CA - where I live now. OK, so it's not really a city... bite me!! I love it here!

5. San Diego, CA - the weather here is perfect 365 days a year. It is gorgeous. I would totally live here if I could afford it! Totally!

6. Seattle, WA - it's like San Francisco only further north and in another state. ('cause I like to state the obvious, that's why!)

7. Bermuda... ok so it's an island, not a city. I can't remember the name of the town we visited when I was a kid but I imagine that's what Eden was like before all the apple eating. B.E.A.utiful!!!

8. Anaheim, CA - cause it's where Disneyland is - DUH!!!

9. Yosemite, CA - I know it's a national park... but doesn't that also make it a city, or town or something? I loved camping there when I was a kid. Totally loved it!!

10. Honolulu, HI - cause it's HAWAII and what's not to love. I'd totally live there too!!

And if you want to play along too:

The Magical Magicality of Magicalness

2009-05-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

I think the pictures speak for themselves.

Happy 5th Birthday, Skye McKenna!

This time tomorrow...

2009-05-11T20:14:00.000-07:00

We'll be "on the road again... I just can't wait to get on the road again..."

My parents used to sing that at the start of every freakin' vacation I can remember taking as a child. And now... I do too!

My mom, my sister and I are taking my little Skye McKenna to Disneyland for a Princess Birthday Extravaganza!! She has a princess make-over scheduled at the Bibbity-Bobbity-Boutique and then we have reservations for lunch at Ariel's Grotto - it's a character lunch and all the Princesses will be in attendance. Oh, I have my camera charged and ready!

So, if you see a big pink glittery mushroom cloud over Anaheim sometime Wednesday afternoon, no need for HAZMAT. It just means that Skye exploded.

Cause we're from Cali and that's how we roll

2009-05-10T21:01:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day started with the traditional family breakfast at the Parents' Homestead. Ken fixed his usual eggs, hashbrowns, assorted breakfast meats and lots of transfats. The benefit is that I don't have to cook or clean up. There's a bonus that just about everything is naturally gluten and dairy free (eggs, potatoes and meat) so Sean can eat virtually everything too. That's a huge relief!

Next, I dropped my kids off at home and my mom, sister and I headed out to a movie: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Click HERE for a link to my movie-review blog.) We snuck in cans of Diet Coke and shared a bag of Kettle Korn and some Red Vines. Then it was off to Chevy's for some loaded nachos and an uber-decadent Ooey-Gooey-Chewy Sundae!

Afterwards, I headed home, packed up the kids, and drove thru In-n-Out Burger on our way to Muir Beach. The kids frolicked in the waves (do not tell my all-too-masculine teenage boys that I associated the word frolick with anything they've done!) and I lounged on a quilt, sipping a Diet Coke and finishing Mary Karr's The Liars Club.

Definitely the perfect end to the perfect day!

Mother's Day Eve

2009-05-10T06:26:00.001-07:00

While I was at work yesterday, the kids prepared the BEST Mother's Day gift ever: they cleaned the whole house! Yep, even the floor around the toilet! A gift truly better than chocolates or jewelry. So we went out for dinner, a little Mother's Day eve feast at Mary's Pizza Shack. This is my new favorite restaurant. Why, you might ask? Because they offer a GLUTEN FREE pizza crust! Sean can have pizza in a restaurant! And being able to watch Sean eat pizza in a restaurant like any other kid - well, that just may beat a clean house! Happy Mother's Day to all those who are Moms, may some day be Moms, wish they were Moms or have a Mom! Moms ROCK!!

I AM Supermom

2009-05-09T16:04:00.000-07:00

This is the Mother's Day Poster Skye made for me at preschool. In case you can't read the text, it says:

My Mom's name is Tiffany, but I call her "Mommy".
My mom doesn't cook anything for me but the
other day she took me to the pizza place. She
likes to eat chocolate cake. Her job is to work,
she does boring stuff but I do lots of fun stuff
when she brings me to work.

I'm sure the Mother of the Year Award Committee is on their way to my house even as I type.

Mother's Day by Tim Burton

2009-05-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

When we were at Disneyland, Tad found and bought this book for me as an early Mother's Day present. It's Tim Burton's original version of The Nightmare Before Christmas. It's told in lyrical rhyme and very much reflects The Night Before Christmas poem that inspired it.

There are differences between the book and movie (as is the case with all books that become movies) and since this is a children's book, it's considerably shorter - the movie is a more fleshed out version. Don't let this fool you into thinking the book is then somehow less than the movie. For it is perfect in it's length and storytelling.

And the artwork. This book is worth purchasing just for the artwork alone. It is beautiful. And something I will treasure forever. I've taken to reading it to Sean and Skye every night at bedtime. Already a wonderful family tradition.

10 Things On My To-Do List

2009-03-31T15:54:00.000-07:00

Riiiiight, like I just have a 10 item to-do list! That's funny!! Here's a wee sampling of my ginormous to-do list:

1. fill the $100s worth of picture frames I bought last month currently stacked in a corner of the living room.

2. hang frames from #1 once filled

3. start cross-stitching Easter kit I just HAD to have last month, still sitting in store bag by front door

4. download video of Cali in school musical two weeks ago

5. put up draperies and rods that I bought in February and are now scattered about the living room and family room

6. go to the gym that I just signed up for and haven't set foot in since!

7. book campground reservations for camping trip boys and I are taking over Spring Break in less than two weeks

8. buy a tent for use during #7

9. clean out from under my bed - I could have a 6th child lost under there that I completely forgot about!!

10. Lose these last damn 20 pounds!!

And if you want to play along too:

Crossed #96 off the list!!

2009-03-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

10 Things You Like Doing On Vacation

2009-03-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

I love love love going on vacation!! For me, vacation requires going somewhere. Vacation is not lying around my house, or worse, doing housework!! NOOOOO - that's called chores. Chores is NOT synonymous with vacation. It is the antithesis of vacation!

1. Road trip - vacation means going away from home. Even if it's just a mile away to my parents' home. That still totally counts!

2. Not dieting! Vacation means taking a break from my regular life. Which means I don't obsess and calorie count. If I feel like eating a dozen donuts for a mid-day snack, that's totally awesome. Because I'm on vacation - and everyone knows that vacation calories don't count... until you get home!

3. Exploring - I'm a do-er (when I'm not a sleeper, reader, or sun-bather) I love to get out and DO things. Preferably things I couldn't/wouldn't do in an ordinary day. Sightseeing, hiking, wandering aimlessly thru a museum - these are all good things!

4. Not set an alarm clock! This should be my number one, but occasionally even on vacation it still happens. Like when you need to catch the 9:00 bus to make the 10:00 ferry cruise around Manhattan. But aside from the exception, my very favorite thing is going to bed knowing I won't be woken up by an incessant MEEP MEEP MEEP! Oh, that is the BEST!!

5. Dressing for the weather outside and not the insanely cold temperature of my office! I hate when it's 80 degrees outside and I still need to make sure I brought a coat to work, to put on when I walk IN the door!!

6. Hanging out with my kids. Now this IS my number one favorite thing. Getting to do fun stuff and connect with my kids on their level. Vacation is where I get to be the fun mom. Let's ride rollercoasters! Let's eat ice cream for breakfast! Let's laugh until someone wets their pants (oh, that would be me!)

7. Being spontaneous. Everyday is normally mapped out and scheduled to death. When we are in vacation-mode, I try to leave a certain level of fluidity. So that we can do what we feel like doing, not necessarily what the schedule says we have to do. I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. Hard to do with 5 kids, especially ones on the autism spectrum. But I feel it's important for kids to have flexibility and an ability to go with the flow.

8. Being outside. Whether it's the beach, mountains or Disneyland - I'm an outdoorsy kinda-girl. I work inside all day long every freakin' day. When I'm on vaca, I need to be OUTSIDE in the fresh air and sunshine!!

9. Doing something out of the ordinary. I think that one's pretty self-explanatory!

10. Crossing off one of the 101 things to do in 1001 days list over there in the sidebar! Goes along with #9. Spring break next month, I'm taking my two older boys on a camping trip - we're going white-water rafting (#38), kayaking (#37) and to Universal Studios (#18)!! It's going to be totally AWESOME!!

And if you want to play along too:

I Heart Faces - No Flash!

2009-03-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

Here's my entry into the I Heart Faces Kids Contest this week.

This was taken up at Lake Tahoe last summer. I must have taken hundreds of photos - the water and sky are so blue, the trees so green. It's nearly impossible to take a bad picture!

This picture gave me the opportunity to develop my Photoshop skills. The original photo is below:

Suggestions, constructive criticism, all input is welcome!!

Spinning off yesterday...

2009-03-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

10 Songs You Secretly Love

Here's your chance to out yourself. These songs are your secret shame. The songs it's totally not cool to love. You won't even put them on your iPod for fear someone may scroll thru your play-list and go "WTF??!!"

1. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice (yes, I'm sorry but I totally LOVE this song and have to seriously control myself not to break out into a horribly embarrassing MC Hammer type dance whenever I hear it!)

2. Copacabana - Barry Manilow (I claim to hate all things Barry - but I sing this one in the shower at least once a week, complete with choreography.)

3. I Want Your Sex - George Michael (goes back to my high school rebellious days of loving a song I KNOW my parents would hate!)

4. I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred (I can't help but shake my little touche on the catwalk every time I hear it!)

5. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler (I'm a huge Bette fan and I totally choke up every freakin' time I hear it! So suck off!!)

6. Elvira - Oakridge Boys (my parents LOVED the Oakridge boys, probably mostly my dad. He used to sing this song ALL THE TIME. I remember joining in on the Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow part when I was like 3. It reminds me of car rides to Yosemite for our family camping trips over Labor Day weekend.)

7. Mmmbop - Hanson (it's catchy. it's a good shower song too. That's my criteria.)

8. Sexyback - Justin Timberlake (I'm mortified to admit that I like anything by JT. Though since he has proved to have such surprising comedic chops with his guest stints on SNL, I'm not quite so mortified as the next entry...)

9. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham (it's 1984 and I'm wearing my giant frosted bangs, sweatshirt over button-down shirt with collar and cuffs showing and acid washed, pleated AND tapered jeans. I'm awesome and so is this song!!)

10. Amadeus - Falco (I must have played this song a million times in high school. I think that in and of itself, explains a lot!)

10 Songs You Hate

2009-03-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

Hmmm... this is a tough one, since I'm not really very discerning and love music in general. Especially popular music. And Bon Jovi. Especially Bon Jovi. But I'll give it the old college try:

1. Single Ladies - Beyonce (I do currently HATE this song... especially when I catch myself singing along to it!)

2. 'pologize - Timbaland & One Republic (just say sorry and be done with it already!)

3. Follow Me - Uncle Kracker (I don't want to hear about your affair set to music.)

4. The Picture - Sheryl Crow & Kidd Rock (see #3)

5. Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat (I know it's supposed to be all sweet and everything, but it really just makes me want to hurl and blast the soundtrack from Wayne's World!)

6. ANYTHING BY JOHN MAYER (see #5)

7. Achy, Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus (do I really need a reason?!)

8. American Boy - Estelle (honestly, I just find it annoying!)

9. Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis (I know she has a beautiful, amazing voice - however, enough with the whining!)

10. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion (see #9)

And if you want to play along too:

I heart faces "green"

2009-03-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

This week's theme over at I heart faces is "GREEN" in honor of St. Patty's Day. This is only my second entry in their contests. I'm hoping for lots of kind and helpful feedback!

Four Wheelin' Thursday!

2009-03-05T19:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I crossed another TWO items off the ol' 101/1001 list!!

First, I purchased a new (to me) car!! A gold 2001 Saturn SC - the kids love the moon roof and "secret" third door. The boys and I can't wait to take it to Southern California next month over Spring Break. We'll be camping, white water rafting and using our season passes at Univeral Studios!! Ain't she a beaut!

The other accomplishment was that I finished reading Sean and Skye "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" by Roald Dahl. I did this with Jason and Cali when they were little. It's such a wonderful story. I think it was surprising for them to listen to the story and compare it to the movies, both of which they've seen dozens of times. It opened their eyes and minds to a whole 'nother world. I started reading them "Inkheart" by Cornelia Funke last night; we saw the movie when it came out. But this seems to be a little advanced for them. So I'm going to pick up a copy of "Coraline" by Neil Gaiman, which I think is more age appropriate. Then we'll probably go back to the world of Roald Dahl. He is absolutely one of my most favorite children's authors ever!

I Heart Faces - Beginner

2009-03-03T20:14:00.000-08:00

Skye McKenna - a Fairy Princess Mess

This is my first official entry for I Heart Faces - I'm so excited that they added a Beginner category this week! I am hoping for lots of constructive criticism. Be gentle with me!

10 Ways You Can Make Your Life Better

2009-03-03T10:38:00.000-08:00

Sadly, my first thought for this meme was a list of my 10 favorite cocktails. But I didn't go there. You all know I'm about as serious as a heartattack on Scrubs, so here goes:

1. Every once in a while, ya gotta play hookie. Ferris Bueller had it right "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

2. Don't take yourself too seriously. If you can't make fun of yourself, I'll be happy to do it for you. Serious people are old and boring. No one likes them... I'm just sayin'.

3. Step outside your comfort zone. That safe little box you live in - that box sucks. Unless you want to be buried in it, get out and live.

4. This goes with number 3 - that big fear you have. Face it. Conquer it. I am terrified of heights. So I went up and looked out over the observation deck of the Empire State building while in NYC. You know what, I totally did not fall off and/or die. Awesome. Now that second story balcony in the mall doesn't seem so tough.

5. Play with your kids. Let them teach you how to play their favorite games. Go to the park and play tag. Lay on the floor and watch movies, eat popcorn, make a mess, have fun. Mom's worry about crumbs on the carpet, kids don't. Be a kid - let the kernels fall where they may!

6. Eat the frosting. So often, we deny ourselves the best part of the cupcake. (This is a metaphor - go with it!)

7. Learn to say NO. No one likes a doormat - it's what we wipe our feet on. You're better than that. Go all Stuart Smalley if you have to "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dog-gone it, people like me!"

8. Learn to say YES. Seem like a contradition of #7?... not so fast there, buddy! If you didn't see Yes Man, rent it the second its available on DVD. Or better yet, go buy it. You're welcome.

9. Make your own Bucket List. (Yes, I am aware that most of my ideas come from movies!) Or 101 Things in 1001 Days - mine is viewable in the sidebar over there somewhere --->

10. Ah, numbero Ten-o... better make it a good one... hm.... too much pressure... drawing a complete blank... wha... ok, here goes: Exercise. At least a little. Every damn day. It's how I went

From this:

To this:

It took a year and was worth every bit of sweat, blood and tears I exuded. Now I have the energy to do #1-9!

And if you want to play along too:

Sisterhood of the Traveling Ass-Pocket Award

2009-03-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

I'm honored and touched to have been nominated for this award by Susan and Raeanne.

Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of the day I would stand before you... oh wait, that's my academy awards speech. Well, it's still an honor just to be nominated!

Here are the rules:

Put the logo on your blog or post.
Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude and/or gratitude.
Be sure to link to your nominees in your post.
Let your nominees know they have received the award by leaving them a comment on their blog.
Be sure to link this post to the person who nominated you for the award.

And in no particular order, the Nominees are...

1. Elizabeth
2. Shana
3. Sarah (I'm aware you've been oft nominated - deal with it! :D)
4. Alana

Love you guys... er gals... uh girls... women... all y'all!!

I made it there - now I can make it anywhere!

2009-02-25T18:08:00.000-08:00

As promised, here are some pictures from my trip to NYC - just a few highlights. Biggest Loser is on and it's GOOD!!

First day, we went to the The Met. Totally awesome. No mummies rose from the dead while we were there. Very disappointed that Brendan Fraser didn't come swinging in to save the day. But still a good visit nonetheless.

That night we went for a horse drawn carriage ride through Central Park. Fortunately, Cramer wasn't driving. Beefaroni wasn't an issue.

The next day was spent at Toy Fair. Sorry, no pics. And that night we went to see The Lion King - fourth row center!! TOTALLY SPECTACULAR!!

Bright and early Thursday morning, we had a private tour of FAO Schwarz. The highlight was getting to dance on the giant piano from the movie BIG. It was so totally awesome!!

Afterwards, we headed on over to the Statue of Liberty. This is one of the items on my 101 things to do in 1001 days list, so I'm uber-jazzed to have crossed that one off!

That night we went to see Confessions of a Shopaholic. While it didn't have the charm of the books, it was definitely hilarious. Isla Fisher was definitely worth the $12.50 ticket!

Friday morning found us 86 stories above the Big Apple - that's us atop the Empire State Building!

Then we headed over to Toys R Us for a spin on their indoor 4 story high ferris wheel!!

And we ended our trip with a visit to the Guggenheim!!

It was seriously the best trip ever!!

Takin' a Bite Outta the Big Apple

2009-02-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

In a few short hours, I'm winging my way East to New Yawk City, home of inferior salsa. I'm being accompanied by my mother and oldest daughter. We're calling it a business trip and attending two days of Toy Fair 2009. But it's also a celebratory trip and that's why Cali's coming along. It's her 18th birthday and graduation present (a little early, but hey, it works.) She is beyond the moon excited (and so am I!)

I'm not bringing a computer, so I won't be posting updates from my trip. Honestly, we're going to be so busy I wouldn't have the time or energy anyway. I'll be taking approximately a billion pictures and I'll take notes during my trip so I can blog a recap when I'm back in good old California!

Have a great week everyone - and Happy President's Day!

Friday Fill-ins

2009-02-13T10:25:00.000-08:00

1. It seems like I'll never get enough sleep.

2. Shut the F up when you're done, please?

3. If I thought you cared I'd have given a damn!

4. Solitaire is what I think of most when I think of you.

5. To me, Valentine's Day means those little boxes of conversation hearts and hand-drawn cards from my kids.

6. Bon Jovi's Crossroads CD gives me strength.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Confessions of a Shopaholic, tomorrow my plans include shopping for winter wear for my trip to NYC and Sunday, I want to take the littles to see Coraline in 3D!

Want to take a turn? Play along at

Pre-Valentine's Day Pictorama

2009-02-12T19:47:00.000-08:00

Ten on Tuesday on Wednesday

2009-02-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

Ehh, I'm off by a day. So sue me. I just found this and wanted to get in on the action this week.

10 Favorite Children's Movies

1. The Nightmare Before Christmas - this is really just one of my all-time favorite movies. Period.

2. The Year Without A Santa Clause - and all of the Rankin & Bass stop action Christmas specials, but the one with Heat & Snow Misers was the MOST AWESOME EVER!!

3. Madagascar 2 - I laughed so hard in the theater that I cried

4. George of the Jungle - Brendan Fraser in a loin-cloth, need I say more?!

5. Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D - Brendan Fraser in 3D. If only we could combine this with #4.... ah, a girl can dream!

6. Disney's The Kid - Bruce Willis and Lily Tomlin, let the hilarity ensue!

7. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - ok, so it's more of a family film than children's, but the kids and I love it. So suck it!

8. The Harry Potter movies - they are seriously so totally complete in their awesomeness. We have seen the first midnight showing of every single one.

9. The Parent Trap - original, Haley Mills version. Nothing takes me back to my childhood quicker than this movie. I wanted a twin SO bad!! Mostly so we could play tricks on my stupid brother. That would have been wicked awesome!

10. Jaws - hey, I was 8 when I first saw it.

And if you want to play along too:

It's a Wiki World

2009-02-09T16:42:00.001-08:00

So, a while back, I asked the question "what is a meme" (and how in the world do you pronounce it!) Well, thru the magic of Google, I was able to answer this question. It's got it's very own Wikipedia page, dontcha know!

A meme (pronounced /miːm/ - like theme) comprises a unit or element of cultural ideas, symbols or practices; such units or elements transmit from one mind to another through speech, gestures, rituals, or other imitable phenomena. The etymology of the term relates to the Greek word mimema for mimic.^[1] Memes act as cultural analogues to genes in that they self-replicate and respond to selective pressures.^[2]Click here for the full Wiki definition.

Ahhhh, yes grasshopper. I feel so enlightened now. Though, I still liked Elizabeth's answer best: it gives bloggers with writer's block something to blog about. Practicality, pure and simple!

And so, I have decided to embrace the Meme. I know you all feel the importance of this moment!

And thus, I give you: The Movie Meme from Tinkerty Tonk

The rules:
Bold movies you have watched and liked.
Turn red movies you have watched and loved.
Italicize movies you saw and didn’t like.
Leave as is movies you haven’t seen.

The Godfather (1972)
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
The Godfather: Part II (1974)
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Schindler’s List (1993)
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
Casablanca (1942)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Star Wars (1977)
12 Angry Men (1957)
Rear Window (1954)
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Goodfellas (1990)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
City of God (2002)
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Psycho (1960)
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Citizen Kane (1941)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
North by Northwest (1959)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Fight Club (1999)
Memento (2000)
Sunset Blvd. (1950)
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
The Matrix (1999)
Taxi Driver (1976)
Se7en (1995)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
American Beauty (1999)
Vertigo (1958)
Amélie (2001)
The Departed (2006)
Paths of Glory (1957)
American History X (1998)
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
Chinatown (1974)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
The Third Man (1949)
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
Alien (1979)
The Pianist (2002)
The Shining (1980)
Double Indemnity (1944)
L.A. Confidential (1997)
Leben der Anderen, Das [The Lives of Others] (2006)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Boot, Das (1981)
The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Metropolis (1927)
Aliens (1986)
Raging Bull (1980)
Rashômon (1950)
Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
Rebecca (1940)
Hotel Rwanda (2004)
Sin City (2005)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
All About Eve (1950)
Modern Times (1936)
Some Like It Hot (1959)
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
The Seventh Seal (1957)
The Great Escape (1963)
Amadeus (1984)
On the Waterfront (1954)
Touch of Evil (1958)
The Elephant Man (1980)
The Prestige (2006)
Vita è bella, La [Life Is Beautiful] (1997)
Jaws (1975)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
The Sting (1973)
Strangers on a Train (1951)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
The Apartment (1960)
City Lights (1931)
Braveheart (1995)
Cinema Paradiso (1988)
Batman Begins (2005)
The Big Sleep (1946)
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
Blade Runner (1982)
The Great Dictator (1940)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Notorious (1946)
Salaire de la peur, Le [The Wages of Fear](1953)
High Noon (1952)
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Fargo (1996)
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Unforgiven (1992)
Back to the Future (1985)
Ran (1985)
Oldboy (2003)
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
The Green Mile (1999)
Annie Hall (1977)
Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
Gladiator (2000)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Diaboliques, Les [The Devils] (1955)
Ben-Hur (1959)
It Happened One Night (1934)
The Deer Hunter (1978)
Life of Brian (1979)
Die Hard (1988)
The General (1927)
American Gangster (2007)
Platoon (1986)
V for Vendetta (2005)
Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)
The Graduate (1967)
The Princess Bride (1987)
Crash (2004/I)
The Wild Bunch (1969)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Letters from Iwo Jima (2006)
Heat (1995)
Gandhi (1982)
Harvey (1950)
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
The African Queen (1951)
Stand by Me (1986)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
The Big Lebowski (1998)
The Conversation (1974)
Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
Wo hu cang long [Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ] (2000)
The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
Gone with the Wind (1939)
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Cabinet des Dr. Caligari., Das [The Cabinet of Dr Caligari] (1920)
The Thing (1982)
Groundhog Day (1993)
The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
Sleuth (1972)
Patton (1970)
Toy Story (1995)
Glory (1989)
Out of the Past (1947)
Twelve Monkeys (1995)
Ed Wood (1994)
Spartacus (1960)
The Terminator (1984)
In the Heat of the Night (1967)
The Philadelphia Story (1940)
The Exorcist (1973)
Frankenstein (1931)
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
The Hustler (1961)
Toy Story 2 (1999)
The Lion King (1994)
Big Fish (2003)
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Magnolia (1999)
A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
In Cold Blood (1967)
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
Dial M for Murder (1954)
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Roman Holiday (1953)
A Christmas Story (1983)
Casino (1995)
Manhattan (1979)
Ying xiong [Hero] (2002)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Rope (1948)
Cinderella Man (2005)
The Searchers (1956)
Finding Neverland (2004)
Inherit the Wind (1960)
His Girl Friday (1940)
A Man for All Seasons (1966)
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)

I Went to the Darkside and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt

2009-02-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

After a stressful, frustrating and overall sucky day at work, I decided that I deserved a movie. Cause I totally needed to unwind a bit before dealing with the grocery story and then my kids. I had a choice of Slumdog Millionaire, Doubt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and several other Oscar nominated movies.

Instead, I chose to see Fanboys. Now let me say, this movie is not going to be everyone's cup of tea. The synopsis from Fandango: "To honor the wishes of their dying friend, some diehard Star Wars fans set out on a cross-country road trip to George Lucas' famous Skywalker Ranch. There, they intend to treat their pal to a screening of the movie series' latest installment before its official release." You have to be a real Star Wars ~~geek~~ fan to even remotely appreciate this movie. Or find it hilarious that you live just a couple of exits up the freeway from Skywalker Ranch. In fact, I had to drive past Lucas Valley road to get to and from the theater.

So unless you are a real ~~freak~~ aficionado of the Star Wars saga and remember all the excitement 10 years ago when Episode I: The Phantom Menace was finally released, you probably won't even get half the inside jokes. Oh, and there are a ton of cameos, including Billie Dee Williams and Carrie Fisher (disappointingly, George Lucas is no where to be found. Total Bummer.) And there's way too much Seth Rogan! But that's just a personal opinion. He doesn't float my boat. In fact, he does absolutely nothing for my boat. My recommendation: wait til USA or TNT is showing it on one of their endless loop marathons.

Crossed #27 off the list!

2009-02-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

Last night, I got together with a group of ladies for a Wine Tasting class. It was so educational and informative. I admit that I am not a wine drinker and, in fact, really didn't care for it at all. But I thought that if I learned about it, I would develop an appreciation for the subtle and not so subtle differences between white, red, burgundy, champaign, sparkling, zinfandel, cabernet... well, the list just goes on and on, doesn't it. We all met at The Wine Spectrum in downtown Santa Rose. Our group leader's husband, Roland, was our instructor and man, does that man love wine! He tried to keep it simple, but I admit to getting a little dizzy before we ever took a sip! He did an EXCELLENT job of explaining the "wine-ing" process and how different wines get their distinctive flavors. The best part was learning that there really is a wine out there for everyone. You just have to keep looking. I'm still looking, but I found out that I'm partial to Chardonnay. And the reason I do NOT like Sauvignon Blanc is because of it's strong citrus-like flavors and quality. And that the fantastic, heavily garlicked pasta dinner is most likely why I enjoyed the Chianti that one time.

After wine, we staggered next door to Sushi To Dai For. Hmmmm - you all know I love me some sushi! No sake or Sapporo for me though, I was a bit tipsy from all the wine and needed to drive home later! Dinner lasted for hours, so no worries, I was totally sobered up by the time I hit the road! We all shared some tempura appetizers. YUMMY!! The menu is off the charts! They have a whole page of vegetarian sushi, almost impossible to find in most sushi restaurants. So many items to choose from, my head was swimming (then again, the wine tasting first probably didn't help!) I finally settled on a San Francisco roll. It had... uh... stuff in it. Definitely some raw fish, probably tuna - I don't really remember beyond the avocado, rice and seaweed wrap! Sorry, I shouldn't drink if I'm going to review! Next time, it's game night. The menu: pizza and beer!

I'm apologizing for the quality of the photos. It was some really great ambient lighting - perfect for setting "the mood" and perfectly sucky for picture taking!

I DO love Green Eggs and Ham!

2009-01-18T08:12:00.000-08:00

The other night, Sean read "Green Eggs and Ham" to Skye. And I mean, really read it, not just recited from memory. He struggled and stumbled, had to sound out the words. It was possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. At the beginning of the school year, he was still having trouble with letter/phonetic identification. And seriously below grade level. Since the plan is to mainstream him next year, I was very worried that he would ever catch up. Guess that was just one more unfounded worry!

Crossed a couple more off the list!

2009-01-17T15:27:00.000-08:00

Numbers 4 & 65 have now been crossed off the list. I was so excited to have finished the baby blanket in time for the birthday party, that I wrapped it up and handed it to them before I thought to take a picture of it! So you'll have to trust me when I say, it turned out beautifully! I was quite proud of it. And myself for actually FINISHING it! Yeah, it's a year later. But I did it. I can't tell you how many half-finished projects I have kicking around here. Or that I've finally given up and tossed over the years. Way more than I've actually finished. I don't know if it's a short attention span, lack of organization, total inability to follow something through - or probably a combination of all three. I'm really trying to overcome that. I don't start very many projects anymore, because I'm really making myself commit to finishing what I do start.

And it feels SO good to FINISH. Like a big weight off my shoulders.

The on-line photo album was just a matter of going thru the process. Now that it's up and running with currently three sub-albums, its just a matter of adding to it monthly. I used to do one years ago. Once I had it up an running, it was just a few hours every month to update and maintain it. So now that it's going, that's most of the effort.

My parents went to Roswell and all I got was a lousy alien

2009-01-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

When I asked my mom to pick me up the cheesiest, cheapest and chintziest souvenir she could find, I was thinking along the lines of a bumper-sticker, key-chain or pencil. Well, she took my request to heart and really out-did herself. According to the receipt, she paid $1 for this. I think she was seriously overcharged.

It's all good, baby!

2009-01-15T09:58:00.000-08:00

I'm totally ~~stealing~~, borrowing this from my friend and fellow-blogger Sarah who comes up with all the best ideas.

Good Aries

That explains the sky-diving and bungee-jumping!

Bad Aries

What's so bad about being blunt, bossy and brazen? Those are some of my best qualities!

And these both describe me to a "T"!!

Sarah, this one is for you!

2009-01-14T21:09:00.000-08:00

And just so ya know, that's an empty packet of Cheez-Its too. Yum-MEEE!!

7Things

2009-01-13T15:02:00.001-08:00

Because I love her and am taking pity on her, I'm taking on the 7Things meme Sarah didn't tag me with. Mostly because she leaves me comments. And I love me some comments!

So here is Seven things about me you may or may not know (and may or may not care if you know):

1. I am NOT a fan of the Meme. Infact, if someone could please tell me what a Meme is supposed to be exactly or what it means? Does it stand for something? How are you supposed to pronounce it? Like ME ME or like Meh Meh? Or some combination resulting in something sounding like Mamie? Yeah, I don't get it.

2. I graduated high school in the honors program and aced my way through it with little to no effort. And yet, did not graduate from college. And now work for my mom. Kids, don't just go to college. You have to actually attend and graduate too. Not so smart afterall, huh?

3. I was an athlete up until college. Basketball, volleyball, track, and I lived in my parents pool. I am not naturally thin. I was just very naturally active. And I have always thought of myself that way. Even when I was over 200 lbs and could barely lift my ass off the couch. In my mind, I was just a few crunches away from competing with Michael Phelps. No one is surprised by how delusional I am.

4. I LOVE horror movies. Pretty much all of them. From the monster movies of the 40s and 50s through the slasher flicks of the 80s and right on now to the freaky mess with your minds ones like the Saw franchise. Ah, I love me a good bloodfest. Very much looking forward to My Bloody Valentine in 3D!! So wicked awesome! And for those playing at home, my number one favorite movie of all time is.... Jaws. So, there ya go.

5. I HATE riding in elevators. I'll do it, but I do NOT like it. I will climb 20 flights of stairs over taking an elevator, if given the choice. It's a bit of claustrophobia and a bigger bit of being terrified of plummeting to my death in a tiny metal box wedged in like a sardine with strangers.

6. I am fascinated by sharks and terrified of them at the same time. I will not go in the ocean past my shins and won't allow my kids in much farther than that either. I once went parasailing in Hawaii. Loved it. However, the take off and landing point was this tiny little floating platform in the middle of the Pacific. You better believe I landed on that platform. The instructors were impressed, no one lands on the platform. But there was no way I was plunging into the ocean. However, I love to watch Shark Week on Discovery channel. I love shark exhibits and could watch them in major aquariums for hours. I'm a total shark freak. However, you will never see "swim with sharks" on my list of things to do. Being eaten by a shark is my number one biggest fear. I do not care to be reverse-sushi.

7. I am afraid of heights. I totally want to go bungie-jumping, skydiving, mountain climbing. I love rollercoasters and have even ridden on the one on top of New York New York in Vegas. I also passed out once on the second story of an open mall. Yep, totally blacked out from vertigo. And it's not just me. Watching someone else lean over a railing or even walk towards it, I can totally feel myself start to lose consciousness. This only applies to man-made structures and I have NO idea why. I can't lean against to look out the windows of the Empire State Building but I've literally skipped across a rope and plank suspension bridge over a canyon hundreds of feet high. One of life's many mysteries. The Grand Canyon freaks me out a bit - but since that was created by aliens I guess it's a grey area.

And to borrow Sarah's words "Alrighty.... Tagging... Crap.

I hate tagging people. If you want to do it, just comment and tell me to come check you out." Love ya Sarah!!

Bridge to nowhere

2009-01-12T11:16:00.000-08:00

I've been a bit under the weather. It's a cold or flue or something, I'm not sure exactly. Seriously sore throat, very painful. So you think that would deter eating... oh how you know me not! I've been eating all right. Mostly comfort-type food, usually found in styrofoam containers with logos on them. I find my good friends Ronny, Jack and The King especially good company these days. And I thought I'd banished them for good. Drat! Foiled again!!

Of course, exercise is a major No-No when you're sick, right? Right?!!!! Humor me. I AM getting 12-14 hours of sleep a night. So that's awesome!

So, we have:

excess fat/calories/greasy food
no exercise
tons of sleep

Hmmm.... can't imagine why the scale is up a bit? UGH.

To top it off, I've missed days of blogging. And picture taking. I'm on the downhill slide already...

BUT - on Friday, I did take a mini road trip with Sean to Oakland (to meet a man in a park about a couple of dryers. Sounds much more interesting than it actually was!) And I did whip out my camera (while driving, cause that's not illegal yet!) and take a few stunning photos!

And driving across the Richmond/San Rafael Bridge. It's not one of the Bay Area glamor bridges, but it functions nicely and sure saves some serious time getting from my side of the bay to Oakland. If you squint really hard at the left side of the last picture, you can just make out San Quentin prison.

The Secret of My Success

2009-01-07T22:36:00.000-08:00

For those who wonder how I manage to get in so much exercise everyday (2-3 hours of cardio), here's my no-fail environment. The elliptical is literally inches from my bed. The treadmill is about two feet - probably why I don't use it as much. :D

They're BAAAAACCCKKKK!!!!

2009-01-06T20:40:00.000-08:00

Thank Goodness!! Tuesday nights are once again my very most favoritest nights!

Bob and Jillian on The Biggest Loser

And this is my totally favorite, totally guilt-free, totally Biggest Loser approved snack food to nosh on while watching people work their asses off as I lounge about on the couch.

Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop Kettle Corn