Yes, I'm THAT Mother!

Movies. Ah, ya know I love 'em. And what I love even more... seeing 'em first! Sneak previews, midnight showings and opening night. Most of the movies I see find me in one of those three audiences. I get it, I'm a bit of a freak (we won't even open the preview trailers can of worms! Trust me!) And I have passed this obsession love of movies on to my children.

I'm the mom who takes her kids to the midnight movie showings... on a school night. [hand raised] yep, that would be me. But it doesn't HAVE to be a school night. I'm taking my older boys to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen tonight. No school tomorrow (though I still have work, which sucks 'cause I'm not nearly as resilient as they are!)

Some of my friends think this puts me into the "cool" mom category. If you'd like, I can conduct a poll. I guarantee a unanimous result - my kids completely agree, with each other, that I am totally not cool. Not even a tiny little bit. Especially when I address them my saying " 'sup, homes?!" in front of their friends. Or dance. Or both. Which happens. Sometimes. I'm just sayin'... embarrassing my kids in front of their friends = total perk of parenting!

No, I don't take my kids to midnight movies to be the cool mom. Oh contrar, mon frere! I do it to bond with them. This is the kind of thing dads traditionally do with their sons. And my sons don't have that. I'm both Mom and Dad.) So I try to do some of the laid back, guy things that dads do with their kids. Especially my boys. In May, I took my two older boys camping, white water rafting and kayaking. Not traditionally a "mom" thing but no one blinks twice about a dad doing that.

And so that's the role I'm trying to fill too. Which is why sometimes we have bowls of cold cereal for dinner while watching Spongebob. Or we squirt water guns at each other in the house. Or I decide that seeing Harry Potter defeat Voldemort is more important than getting 8 hours of sleep (especially if he does it in digital 3D!!)

I just hope my kids appreciate these huge sacrifices I make for them! Cool Mom indeed (wicka wicka woooow!)

10 Things You'd Bring On A Deserted Island

Ok, first off - I'm playing the Gilligan's Island edition, which means unlimited batteries, electricity and running water. And if Gilligan's Island was set in 2009, they'd totally have WiFi too. 'Cause the Professor might not have been able to fix a hole in a boat, but he's total MacGyver when it comes to rigging shit stuff with coconuts!

1. Because I'm a practical girl, feminine hygiene products. Oh yeah! I am NOT going to Martha Stewart myself some tampons out of banana leaves! So not happening. Ever.

2. Oral care toiletry bag including but not limited to: toothbrush, endless ball of floss, minty fresh toothpaste and Crest Whitening Strips - so that I have that celebrity smile when I am finally rescued and can flash all my pearly whites at the cameras! Plus, really, I'm just thinking of the poor actress that will play me in the made-for-tv movie about my tragedy turned triumph.

3. My laptop naturally. How else will I entertain myself without YouTube! Oh and I could blog forever... wait, didn't some guy just win this as his dream job??! He's being PAID to be stranded on a gorgeous deserted island with nothing but his laptop and blog once a week about it. 'Cause I would have totally done that FOR FREE!! Suckers!

4. Ginger's trunk of evening gowns - so appropriate for an island getaway. Besides, I'd never get a chance to wear them in my regular life!

5. Sunscreen - because I am of the pigment challenged variety. The last thing I need is some wicked sunburn and to find I was stranded on the only deserted island with no aloe plants!

6. FedEx better still be delivering my NetFlix. I'm just sayin...

7. An endless supply of Coke Zero. I don't care if they drop a container in a month at a time or just connect up a giant pipeline from the mainland. I'll take it anyway I can get it!

8. Stephen King's entire published library. I could even live without Harry Potter and the cast of Twilight (blasphemy to several of my friends... and Elizabeth is considering never speaking to me again. Sorry E. but Mr. King is the original!)

9. Bath and Body Works' Warm Vanilla Sugar lotion. Cause it's just awesome!

10. Brendan Fraser... in a loincloth... or not... :D

And if you want to play along too:

Just Call Me Pento-Mom

So, here's my admission for the day. If circumstances were different (like I was married, just a wee bit more financially secure and still had working fallopian tubes) I would totally have more kids. There. I said it. I know it's not a popular notion in this day and age of two kids being considered a large family and three kids basically insane.

When I tell people I have 5, their eyeballs literally fall out of their head and are then squooshed by their jaw crashing to the ground. After the stunned silence and they take a moment to put all their facial features back into place, they usually ask me to repeat myself. Oh yeah, it's 5... last I counted. This is usually followed by head shaking in disbelief and some form of "I don't know how you do it." To which I just smile and nod knowingly. If I'm feeling flippant, I'll say "medication" or "I drink heavily in the afternoon" - something along those lines. People like for me to acknowledge that this is indeed crazy, that no sane person would purposely have FIVE children. And that it must be just an overwhelming, mind-robbing, life-sucking, emmense to the nth power job. I have a secret... it's not.

Sorry to disappoint. I love it. I LOVE IT. Oh sure, there are bad days. Everyone has their bad days. Even billionaires have days that blow. Even gorgeous people have butt-ugly days. Life isn't all daisies and rays of sunshine all the time. Cause seriously, that would be totally boring. And then we wouldn't appreciate it at all, would we?

So, I love having a big family. I FREAKING LOVE having five kids. If I could, I would have a dozen. That is not in any way, shape or form an exaggeration. I would totally have 12 kids. Maybe it's just that my kids are more awesome than other kids. Maybe that's it. Or maybe that I'm just a big kid, so I like being surrounded by my peeps.

It probably has to do with coming from generations of big families. My dad was the oldest of 11. Yep ELEVEN. And I loved hanging out at his parents' house, which was literally just a block away growing up. I'm just 5 years younger than my youngest aunt, so I grew up with my aunt being more like my sister. Especially since my only real sister didn't come along until I was nearly 14. I loved being a part of that big, noisy, chaotic family. As a kid, there was always someone to hang out with, someone to play with, someone baking cookies or willing to teach you to sew. For a kid, this was like being at camp all the time! And I always wanted my kids to grow up with that same cameraderie and feeling of inclusion.

And maybe that's why my autistic kids are much more social than most. Sean is the most "severe" and yet he's always talked, if not clearly, certainly with abundance! He's a little jabber-jaw. Same with Skye. Sean is still more of a parallel-player, but he knows how to get along with other kids. He's never had trouble sharing, or having other kids in his play space. Cause that's just been his reality since birth. There have always been other kids around. He's always had to share. That's all he's ever known. He also does unusually well in loud and chaotic situations. A bunch of people talking at once rarely freaks him out. Why? Well, that's what he's heard since the womb! Being number four of five has been nothing but beneficial for my little Seanathon Beastly!

Now, as a single, totally broke, working mom, having more kids is not even an option. So I won't be competing with Octo-mom on any reality shows in the near future. But if things were different, you'd still be calling me Tiffany (cause really, Pento-mom just sounds stupid!)

10 Favorite Things To Do During "Me" Time

"Me" time - the definition of this has changed over the years. As a child and adolescent, every moment of every day was me time. Then I got married and had a baby. Suddenly, "Me" time was taking an unaccompanied shower, or getting to use the potty by myself. With two kids in 18 months, "Me" time mostly involved breathing and trying not to cry.

Now my kids are older, and my baby can make herself a sandwich. I haven't had company in the bathroom since Sanjaya introduced the pony-hawk. I get to go on mini-vacations and weekends away sans children more often that I can believe! So, without further adieu, here's "Me" Time, the no more babies version:

1. Go to a movie - I know that you are all totally shocked by this. Whaaa?? Tiffany likes movies? You don't say? Yeah, I know. I like to state the obvious!

2. Exercise - whether it's an hour at the gym or just hitting the elliptical with an episode of Friends and my door tightly locked - workout time is my ultimate ME time!

3. Go to the library - yep, uber-geek here. Our library has free Wi-Fi. Sometimes I'll take my laptop and go hang out with the college kids at the library for a few hours in the evening - you know, now that Biggest Loser is on hiatus.

4. Sew - I used to LOVE to sew. Love it. And I just haven't had the time anymore. Well, I've spent the last week getting my machines out of mothballs (and taking one down to the shop for repair - $120 later! YIKES!!) But really, I love creating things. And sewing is a wonderful way to express myself. So much so, that I'm opening an etsy shop. I'll have a link to it when I get it up and going. Hopefully by the end of the month.

5. Manicure/pedicure/spa-treatment crap - I don't do this often. Looking at my feet, I definitely don't do it often enough! Double Yikes!! I better schedule me some "Me" time at the nail salon darn quick!

6. Crocheting - this goes along with #4. I'm working on a baby blanket for a friend of mine right now. It's so relaxing and just fun. And I love having something to do while I'm vegging out in front of the tv. I get to feel productive - bonus!!

7. If gas wasn't so expensive (we're one cent away from $3 per gallon for regular!) I'd say going to the beach. I used to love to just stroll along the shore, listen to the waves crash, smell that salty ocean air, feel the mist on my face and the sand under my feet. There is seriously nothing in this world more relaxing and rejuvenating than time on the beach.

8. Daydream - this is a luxury I've reclaimed in recent years. When the kids were small, I didn't even have a moment long enough for my own thoughts, much less a whole fantasy. Now, I love to just close my eyes and let my mind wander. Ah... Brendan Fraser... hmm... wha... oh yes...

9. Sleep - yep, sometimes (very rarely) I change into my comfiest jammies, curl up in bed and take a nap... in the middle of the day!! All by myself!! It.Is.Awesome!

10. Read - this is my number one favorite thing to do. I try to carve out time to read every day. I went for a few years without pleasure reading and I tell you, I was all the worse for it. For all the movie-whore that I am, it's reading that I could not live without.

And if you want to play along too:

We Got Our Just Desserts

I got the most divine recipe for Cherry Crisp from Gluten Free Mommy. It was simple, fresh and delicious. My favorite part is that it's NATURALLY gluten free, rather than using modified products. Ok, so it's a lot of fat and sugar - it's a DESSERT, not health food! But most desserts are full of gluten, and those that aren't are dairy products. So dessert isn't something we have a lot of around here. Or it's GFCF cookies or cake - which are either expensive mixes or premade and usually full of chemicals to get the GFCF. From scratch is a challenge since it takes a combination of different non-wheat flours to get anything even vaguely resembling a wheat flour. And let's face it, the end result still leaves something to be desired.



So, back to the Cherry Crisp. It was fabulous!! A new family favorite - and it will definitely be making an appearance at the holidays! The perfect alternative to a traditional pie. I'm going to be trying lots of more recipes over the next few months. I hope to expand my repertoire. I'm still searching for the perfect GFCF lasagne crockpot recipe. I found one involving eggplant. I'm willing to give it a try, I bought a couple of eggplants and everything! Fingers crossed!!

'Cause We're a Bunch o' Players

In my world, Friday night is movie night. Y'all know I'm a total movie freak and if I can't see a movie before it actually opens (as in a sneak preview or at the very least, the midnite showing, like last night's Land of the Lost) then I HAVE to see it opening night. Seeing a movie the Saturday night of opening weekend is near torture. And if for some reason I have to wait til Sunday, then forget it. I might as well have waited for the DVD. I am aware I have issues, I'm seeking medication for this.

Tonite, Cali and I are going to see My Life In Ruins (look for the review on my movie blog Cinemarific tomorrow.) It looks appropriately chick-flicky. I've been seeing a lot of action movies (Terminator Salvation), guy-type comedies (previously mentioned Land of the Lost) and kid/family movies (Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian & Disney Pixar's Up.) So I'm totally up for some girlie romancey comedy type cinematic mushiness. And also comedy. Cause Nia Vardalos is pretty freakin' hilarious. Any one who can play a woman playing a man playing a drag-queen has got my vote (Connie and Carla costarring the ever brilliant Toni Collette... but I digress!)

Usually, Friday night involves me running out of work at precisely 5:30, swooping through Safeway's pizza section for a quickie dinner to drop home for the kids after I've fetched Skye from daycare and then hotfooting it down to the local theater and just sliding into my seat before some dancing cats tell me to "please silence and put away my cell phone now." Just before the previews start. 'Cause me, I am a previews whore! If I'm going to miss the previews, I'll wait for the next showing. Seriously. Not even joking a tiny bit. I've opted not to go to a movie when I realized I'd miss the previews. (I've already mentioned I'm seeking medical help.)

However, tonite's movie does not start until 7:50. And I get home from work around 6pm. Which gives us a good hour and a half of family time. And while we're still having pizza, I will be home to enjoy a slice or two with the kids. But what's more, is there will be time for games! Yay!! Pizza and game night! AND a movie. See, it is possible to have it all!!

What Makes You So Normal?

I have five kids. Three of them are on the autism spectrum. Two of them are "normal". I cringe at that term and rarely use it. I don't like it. Define "normal" - who gets to decide what that is? Looking at my kids' stats, autism is our normal. It's the two non-spectrum kids that are the odd ones.

This became important a few months ago. I was having one of many discussions with Cali about Asperger's Syndrome. She wasn't diagnosed until she was 16. She grew up feeling different, not like the other kids, an outsider. Amazingly, she always managed to have friends. Not a big crowd, but a couple of very close BFFs. Thankfully, she was never the target of bullies or teasing. I still don't know how she managed to avoid that, maybe it's because she is such a genuinely sweet girl. You just can't help but love her.

So we were talking and somehow got around to some of her "uniquenesses", like her obsessions with certain things: Yugio, Egypt and dragons. And when I told her that was totally normal for someone with Aspergers, I could actually see the relief in her whole body. She was NORMAL. Words she had longed to hear her entire life. There wasn't anything wrong with her. She has Asperger's Syndrome and she is a perfectly normal Aspie. Until that talk, she wasn't sure how she felt about her diagnosis. But after we talked, she realized that it didn't label her or limit her. In fact, it liberated her. I hope I can do the same for Sean.